Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

The Top 5 Reasons Why Your Marriage Is Failing You're Cheating. Now you don't have to take this literally. It doesn't mean that you are stepping outside of the relationship to meet your sexual needs. Cheating can be emotional or social. Let me explain: If you're investing your time into everyone and everything else before you invest in your partner (which is synonymous for your marriage), then you are in essence cheating your spouse out of the time and attention that they need. It may seem hard to do but nothing falls out of that category; family, friends, work, kids, etc. Your spouse should trump all of those things. If you are putting your spouse first, they will give you the balance and support you need to tend to that work assignment, family gathering, ailing parent, or growing children. So often people put other things ahead and logically justify it however if your spouse is last on your list to address, so is your marriage. Confiding in your friends more ...

Photo by  Priscilla Du Preez  on  Unsplash You would think I would have been more creative the second time I tried to die. I wasn't. I was a single mother with a very young toddler and I couldn't figure out how to be a very young twenty-something, a mom, a college drop out, and an adult who was aspiring to build a career instead of just having a job. I was waitressing and my tips weren't enough to make the rent for my studio apartment. My daughter was always at her father's parents home because I was working nearly 53 hours a week. Despite my hard work, I never had enough money. I dropped about 15lbs and everyone was complimenting me but I was starving. I would feed my daughter and pray she would be full so I could eat whatever she left over. I didn't care if it was cold Farina or chewed up and spat out chicken and veggies. I needed to eat and I was broke. Realizing that I was working for my daughter but hardly saw her started to wear on me. It didn't hel...

Each day, I would wake up and get a precious gem. There wasn't a day that they were ever the same, yet all of them were equally valuable. There came a day when I had more gems than I knew what to do with. They filled my pockets, they surrounded my feet, they consumed me. I didn't know how to clear them. I didn't know how to sort them. I didn't know how to leave them. I loved them so much. Still, each day I continued to receive each gem. Ever fatigued by the weight and quantity of them I smiled as I received them and frowned immediately after as I pondered what to do with them. I was in over my head. So, I decided to throw them away. I lamented over the loss, but I didn't know what to do with them. I valued them, and I loved them but I couldn't make them work for me. Instead I just allowed myself to be consumed, and my lack of a plan led to frustration and eventually gave way to resignation. I let my gems go. Upon giving them up, I suddenly had space to think ab...