Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

The knock was unexpected. I was watching "Boyz N Da Hood" on a very grainy VHS and wasn't expecting company. I'd sneak boys into the small basement apartment before but lately I wasn't in the mood for boys with their anxious hands pawing all over me, with open mouth kisses lacking coordination as they tried to feel up my shirt. Oh, it was him. He was a young man, eighteen, maybe nineteen. High School graduate. He was moonlighting as a mechanic. Mom took a liking to him. She always took a liking to the wrong men. I liked his physique. He was lean and chiseled; the build of a young man who is used to hard labor. I was attracted to him, but not enough to do much about it. Besides, he had a girlfriend who was in her early twenties. There was no competing with a young woman when you are a fifteen year old girl with a mild crush. She sent me to his house to give him some money for some work he began to do on her car. I stood on the stoop and rang the doorb...

I seldom pray these days and some of you may say that my lack of prayer is likely the cause of some of my issues. That may or may not be true but today I am an angry woman. I just realized that I blew almost two frikkin years on a man that wasn't worthy of my time. As much as I would like to blame him for giving me a false sense of hope (don't get me going on my thoughts on hope. I'm not too fond of keeping that crap alive at all), I blame myself for foolishly volunteering my time, emotion and energy to a complete jackass.. FOR TWO FRIGGIN YEARS! Now I'm not one to dwell on mistakes. I believe we should take the lessons from them, apply them to the future and move on but its hard to do that when you can't stop thinking about what a son of a b-tch your ex is and what a jackass you were for enduring the b-tch@ssness buffet they served you for an entire relationship. My friends knew he was a jerk. I just thought he was an aspiring good guy with deep rooted jerk issue...

I didn't know I was a side chick. It all kind of just, well happened. I have pointed many a finger at women who were Mistresses by choice and called them all sorts of terrible names to shame them for aiding a man in infidelity. Then I became the mistress. What was the lesson? Well when someone says they are separated, it means they are married. I wasn't your typical Mistress. I wasn't a spoiled chick with  my own credit card and exotic weekend trips. Nope, I was just relief. I was a welcomed change to a troubled marriage.  photo courtesy of www.xclusivetouch.co.uk He was separated. He had been separated from her for 4 years, had no interest in reconciliation, and was interested in me. My red flag started to rise a bit when he said 4 years. Who is separated for 4 years? Why not divorce? Did she up and move to another country? What the hell? He said that they just never bothered to but he needs to get around to it (ya think?!). Time went on and I got more and more...

Star Wars Is Coming, Are You Ready? It's no secret that Star Wars VII is premiering December 18th, 2015 (US) and people are raving about it well before the premier. If your memory is as poor as mine, you may need to get up to speed on all things Star Wars before you head out to the theater this December. No worries, The Nappy Diva is here to work the kinks out of this twisted situation.  Need to get your memory up to speed? Get the digital movie collection  from Amazon. This collection has Phantom Menace, Attack of The Clones, Revenge of the Sith, A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. In addition, there are 9 hours of bonus materials to keep you revved and ready for Episode VII: The Force Awakens.  A friend of mine recently made the prediction that this film will likely be the film of the year, and I believe him. It's already trending all over Google+  and Facebook . At this point from my super google research, Jurassic World and The Avengers: A...

He loves me. At least, thats what he said. He loves me more and more each and every day. But he was still seeing other women, and he was still caught up with his ex-girlfriend, and he was comfortable with our complicated relationship that held a clumsy banner over it labeled "friends". He said that he wanted to be friends and "who knows" what God had in store for us. He was open minded. I listened. I even agreed initially. But then he wanted to know why I didn't call him back, or why I seemed distant. He could sense even the slightest distance and yet he couldn't seem to figure out that his careless handling of my feelings were making an already complex relationship damned near incomprehensible. "I love you." "I love you more and more each day" "I miss you" " I want to cuddle with you" In the same breath it could be " I went on a date" or "I was with my ex" It all was so confusing, until I re...

I have always had a slew of male friends. It not that I didn't have my fair share of female friends as well its just that I always had male friends that I was always able to confide in, spend time with, as well as serve as a confidante for them as many of them have done served the same role in my life. I've noticed that a few of my males friends seem to utilize me as a substitute girlfriend. They don't desire to be in a relationship with me however they expect me to fill in the voids of their relationships. For some reason, this doesn't sit well with me at all. I have had this occur within at least three friendships and I can say with certainty that I will be putting an end to it today. Take a look at the cases in point: Kevin: Kevin and I were speaking and emailing each other daily. He gave me hope of actually embarking upon a relationship after my separation. We finally came to the conclusion that my marriage was an issue for him. He didn't want to be involved...

photo courtesy of phillymag His name was ****. I met him back when I worked for a property management company in DC. I was going to grab a bite from a Jamaican spot called sweet mango and he practically jogged to meet me. I actually tripped trying to accelerate out of his reach. Understand that I don't take too kindly to men approaching me while I'm out and about. We spoke for a bit over the phone, but we were both going through way too much. He just had surgery on a hernia and was on a limited budget to his leave of absence from work for the surgery and I was gung-ho for divorce and struggling working a part time gig. We fell off ( I often do that with many people). Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He contacted me on FB (we weren't FBfriends at the time so a search was performed...hey, I'm worth searching for! lol) and we started chatting again. He said that he never forgot about me and he wanted to try again now that our lives have finally found stability...

I have a confession: I used to read Cosmo . Once I realized that all this magazine does is tell women what men are thinking, how to please a man in the bed room and occasionally how to increase your own pleasure in the bedroom. After some time I came to realize that these magazines target women, only inform them on how to cater to men. Something is wrong with that picture. Is there any magazine that tells men what WOMEN want? No, I am really asking. I would like to know because I would love to recommend it to a few guys I know. Chances are, they wouldn't buy it anyway. Why is it that men are so disinterested with the mind and pleasures of women while many women are still picking the brains of any man that is willing to share the trade secrets of the male gender? I feel like I am living in a world run by men! Wait, I am living in a world run by men because women are too dense to realize and assert their power over men (but I digress)... There has to come a time in your adult life t...