Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Funny that I created this blog years ago in effort to draw positive attention to what so many others were scorning at the time; natural hair. I used to be a natural hair stylist and I met so many women who were either afraid to "go natural" or were struggling to stay natural. Seldom did I meet someone who was content and simply needed styling services. I won't say that learning navigate an entirely new hair texture doesn't come with it's fair share of challenges. I will say that so many of us don't want to deal with our hair once it's restored to its original texture. I have to admit that I have been one of the women that I used to tsk at years ago. I always have in hair extensions by way of weave, braids or crocheted something. I say that I am doing a protective style which is sometimes true but most times I am just trying not to do my hair at all. I don't want to bother to manipulate my hair into elaborate twist outs and take time to do intricat...

What's In a Hymen? I read in the paper last week, that some women are seeking to have their hymens repaired so that their soon to be husbands to be would believe that they are virgins. (insert deep breath here) Okay, maybe in a culture where women are expected to be virgins and if they aren't they are stoned to death, or forced into brothels or something...but AMERICA? Then again, what the heck is so great about America? The bottom line is, we as women are so compelled to satisfy men that we are willing to surgically reinvent hymens. Absurd is putting it mildly. Outrageous is more I like it. So, where are all these men who are breaking hymens and running off to marry preserved virgins with hymens in tact, and ready to be broken? Regardless of where you are from, it's the same mentality. Americans are no different and no less oppressed when most American women either: a) broke their hymen in a drunken stupor b) broke their hymen with a guy who's last name isn...

I have to admit that with age, each man that I have met has been more impressive than the one before him. I have met a few good men within the past year or so and I would remiss if I didn't grab a pair of knee pads and thank God a few times. I wonder what about me changed that caused me to experience a change in the men that I met. I know that I have gotten older and the poor relationship that I was committed to began when I was much younger. In fact, I think that it taught me a lot about what I didnt want to endure in a relationship. So here I am today... single. One may ask why that is. A few sentences ago, I mentioned meeting a few good men. So why is it that I am not with any of them? Well, the answer is simple. Good doesn't necessarily mean good for me . The first step to dating with purpose (and I say this because many people date aimlessly and aren't looking for anything in particular) is to know what you want. You need to know what it is that you want from a man...

I grew up in a single parent home. My mother made less than 30k per year and somehow managed to raise three children in the suburbs of Queens, NY. Looking back, I am positive that her accomplishment was no easy feat as I too struggle to raise my own two children on a salary that doesn't permit much room for emergencies or careless spending. For a time I was living the married life. I had a husband, two daughters, and a home. For much of that time, I carried the financial burden of the entire household while my spouse made numerous efffort's (with varied success) to secure his own employment. I must admit that the reasoning behind his incapability of providing or even contributing to our household was largely due to poor decision making that I was well aware of prior to our union. However upon our separation, he is still struggling and offers the bare minimum of assistance as he has little or nothing to spare in regards to time or money. When this subject is brought up amongst ...