Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Love: Underestimated But Not Overrated  There was a time that my views on love would be best described as jaded at best. The irony in that is when reflecting upon my previous love relationships, I would have to admit that I didn't experience the full potential of what love can truly bring. I was often in torrid love affairs where either I was smitten and they weren't, they were smitten and I wasn't or we were both smitten and tormenting each other with our issues. Realizing this has led me to the conclusion that you can't grow tired of something you never truly experienced and to be bitter about a poor outcome from a poor investment is unfair and foolish. When I was married, my husband would often complain that the person I was with others was a more kind and jovial version of the woman I was when we were alone. I would dismiss his claims with the false assurance that I was only wearing the obligatory mask that all people wear when they interact with outsiders...

I had a tumultuous 9 year relationship. We were on again and off again but we were on more times than we were off. Each time we parted ways, it was always for the same reasons. Finally I legally severed my ties with that person and I was able to move on with my life. Eventually I met another man and he was a good man with a lot of heartache. Looking back, I can admit that I had some heartache of my own. He and I also created a cycle of breaking up and making up as well. However, his offenses were far less major than those of my ex husband. Hardened however by the issues of the past, I didn't give the new guy much of a chance before I ran for my life and ended things. When breaking up, you should always have a definitive reason for your departure from the relationship. If you know why you are leaving you can state the issues factually and acknowledge that without change, you couldn't continue within the relationship. If you make up, the decision should be logical. Don...

He moved me to do things that I hadn't done. Highway drives, random rides, he was up for fun. He held my hand as we listened to tunes. We would chat about politics, friends, and news. Conversation just flowed with any topic we'd choose. He would puff on natural stuff, and I would drink all the booze. I'd play in his hair and he would always close his eyes and smile. We'd escape in our place and allow our passion to run wild. Our hearts moved inches and then soared for miles. He wanted us to pour our love into making a child. But then there was the fighting, and the hurt feelings. The light that shone on us fell hard from loves ceiling. Loves walls were crumbling and the paint was peeling. Love was breaking down faster than we could do the healing We couldn't buy back all the happiness the drama was stealing God wouldn't answer our prayers so we both quit kneeling. Each day resentment would continue to build. day by day until ...

"I'm not in love with you anymore." Surely if you were the unfortunate recipient of this confession its highly likely that your heart immediately felt as if it had imploded. Your only chance at resuscitation would be renewed affections from the very culprit who wounded you so severly. I have never been told that I was no longer loved. I regretfully admit that I have at a time recited those seven words with mournful resignation to someone once before. The thing is, I do believe that its possible one can "fall out of love" but I don't believe that love can ever be discontinued. After all, "falling in love" and "loving" seem like the same thing with varied intensity. Love is far more than a feeling. Its a commitment. Once you commit to something, you don't renege. If more people looked at love as an emotional commitment, perhaps the notion of even "falling out of love" or "not loving" would become more obscure. I...

He sat quietly at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He wondered how much longer he could endure her. "So you're not gonna' tell , huh?" Her eyes were brimming with tears. There was a time that he would take great care to dam the tears that welled in her eyes and now he had grown tired. He let out a slow groan. "This is bullshit..." He mumbled more to himself than toward her. This sent her in a rage. She sprang from underneath the sheets, her naked body fully exposed. Her once taut backside was riddled with dimples. Her belly ring sunk into her stomach as if it were a secret jewel. He often forgot she had her navel pierced at all. "My feelings are BULLSHIT?!" She raged on. The words that followed didn't matter. He wasn't listening. Instead he began to massage his temples in a rhythmic motion, soothing himself into a trance of indifference. "God, she is loud." He thought to himself. The distant memories of her whi...

Dreamgirls was a successful Broadway play for years. It even made it's way to the big screen in 2006. Original headliners of the staged version included then little known Loretta Divine and now long forgotten Jennifer Holliday. Watching the performance of the then robust and popular Holliday allowed me to witness her successful portrayal of the scorned character Effie White. In a passionate performance she screamed, sobbed and belted the lyrics of "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" in such a way that years later many have made a valiant effort to match her vocal bravado in singing the same song. Of those attempts, most have fallen far from the mark. With this knowledge, I wondered why was it that Jennifer Hollidays career didn't move much further beyond her Dreamgirls fame. Upon doing a bit of google research ( not the most reliable, but definitely the most convenient) I have found several theories as to why Jennifer Holiday's career came to a standstill...