Passion Takes You Places: A Lesson In Love

I dated some in my day and there was a season of my dating life that I like to call "Chopping Season". That was the period of time when no man was worthy of my time and as soon as they gave me whatever I perceived as "good reason", I chopped them. Chopping someone is as a superior action  word. It's a verb with cojones. I have several ways of doing it. Sometimes I would make sure I did it in person. Other times, it would be a text or a slew of them if I were angry enough. Sometimes I would just block the person; allowing my silence to tell the story. Chopping happened frequently to the point my close friends termed what I did as "chopping". "Did you chop him?" My sister and best friend would often ask. If I was complaining a bit too much my friends would say "chop his ass, he's not worth it". If men were trees, I was surrounded by limbs of lumber. By golly, I chopped.
I later realized that I was too hasty sometimes in my decision to end relationships. I have chopped people for some pretty minor offenses like: He called too often, he didn't call enough, he watched football the entire time I was there, he was terrible in bed, he kissed me too soon, kissed me too late. He wants to get married, he never wants to marry. Whatever was important to me at the time, if he wasn't on the same page I was chopping. Then, after some thought and advice from friends, I took time away from dating. I stopped. I didn't solicit interest, look for anyone, I just took time to relax and sharpen the blade just in case I may need to chop again.
I came back to the dating scene and met someone. Fun, easygoing, mild mannered, easy on the eyes, sweet. We vibe, but progression past where we started? Unlikely. Why? Drama. Whose? His. The bottom line? He lacks passion. His lack of passion for the progression of our relationship and the conclusion of the drama he has in his life is lacking. He just floats along, with no plan. I used to care, a summer or so ago, I would giving him a good tongue lashing, and blocked him. But logic and compassion have compelled me to go against my nature to chop, drop, and roll.
He is nice enough. He is sweet enough. He is handsome enough. He is smart enough. Passion? Ambition for anything? He is void, maybe even in the negatives. Me? I'm a blogger for goodness sakes. The passion factor is there when it comes to me. So imagine my dilemma, where the man I got involved with has the ambition of a sloth on cannibus. It's discouraging.
Rather than be discouraged, I eventually gave up hope with him. I gave up on imagining us being able to explore our relationship further. I gave up caring about where we were, and where we weren't going. I gave up opening up toward him and maintained the same level of emotion without developing deeper feelings. I just resigned myself to the reality.
A close friend of mine is always fighting with her husband. As much as she is tired of the fighting, I had to remind her that if she is ready to suit up every morning and go to war, she still has passion for her cause. Hopefully the cause will always be her marriage. But when someone lacks passion, they will never go to war for anything because fighting requires an amount of energy they will never care to expend. Peace comes with resignation and War comes with passion.
This isn't to say that war is the answer, but at the end of a war, one has the final word on victory. However if you lack passion, no one wins.