Discovering Your Purpose: What Are You Meant to Do ?

I have held many jobs. Some of them were entrepreneurial in nature and other's were corporate oriented. I've strongly disliked most of them. Why? I was doing what paid me, rather than what was passionate to me. I would work office jobs and enjoy the "benefits". 

Now, I realize that the interpretation of benefits is relative. Are benefits health insurance, year-end bonuses, and an abundance of leave allowance? Are benefits working from home, making your own hours, and receiving a handsome pay? Are benefits a relaxed work environment that allows for casual clothing and imbibing in the afternoon? 

It wasn't until I began to define what qualified as a benefit within my work life that I began to steer further and further away from the role of employee and closer to the role of entrepreneur. I wanted to work for myself. I wanted to prove that the skills I'd utilized for the "benefit" of my employer could benefit myself. I quickly learned that it takes a special kind to run a business that actually works and thrives. 

After several crash and burn endeavors, I gained a new respect for the business owner. I also gained a new sense of pride in being an employee. I learned the hardships that came with both sides of the game. This lesson took me approximately twelve years to learn. It wasn't because I'm slow, but because I'm determined. My ambition caused me to create a cycle of jumping from one business venture to the next all for the sake of achieving my dream of working for myself. I was so fixated on making money for myself that I failed to invest concern in what I did to make it. Starting a business that you aren't passionate about is no different than taking a job just for the check. In both scenarios, you typically end up unhappy. 

I'm sure you're wondering what changed. How did I reach the point where I discovered what I was passionate about and actually set out to pursue that passion? 

The answer in short, is my mind. I had to change the way I thought about things. One day my sister asked me what I would want to do if I an have any job I wanted. I told her I didn't want any job, I wanted my own business. Speaking my truth forced me to address what business I wanted to own. So often we run into people who are hopping from one venture to the next and attempting to sell us on each and every one. I have to admit that I was that person. When I was a distributor for a skin care and cosmetic line, I was asking friends to host parties and shop my catalog. Eventually, I did run a semi- successful business doing something I was good at and enjoyed however in time it turned into another stressful job. I was assuming the role of entrepreneur but modeled my business like an employee. I burned out fast and the profits weren't significant enough to keep me afloat until I can restructure my entire model. Completely defeated, I hung my head as I perused through a job search site and uploaded my resume. 

One day after being completely disrespected by someone I was subordinate to, I went to the bathroom to have a good cry. Before the tear dropped, I stopped myself and remembered who I am. I'm not the crying type. I'm the grab the bull by the horns and take control type. So, I marched into that person's office and informed them that the way they spoke to me was not acceptable nor will it ever be accepted. That experience made me conscious of how many others were going through what I was going through. Not necessarily the desire to become an entrepreneur but the desire to simply, be. 

We all have a need to be. We want to be happy. We want to be at peace. We want to be loved. We want to be secure. We want to unapologetically be ourselves. 

Sometimes, to figure out who you've become it's best to look back and remember who you were before life had it's way with you. Before I became my most broken and made almost every decision based on circumstance rather than desire I wanted to be a Psychologist. Life happened, dream deferred, and then discarded. That's how a woman with a passion for people ends up in the financial industry where people are valued by decimal placements. I needed the money. I forsake my passion, and then I forgot all about it. It took me over a decade to remember. 

That's how I landed here. In fact, I didn't land. I wasn't tossed into the air and dropped. That would almost be too easy. I trekked here. It's been a long journey and while I've arrived, I'm still unpacking. I'm still sorting out which belongings will serve me. I'm tossing my pain and disappointment into the wilderness and setting up a camp with things that will only sustain me. I will not allow myself to be hindered by things that don't serve my purpose and speak to my intentions. 

When I changed my mind, I changed my heart too. The more I began to tend to my heart and listen to it the less I had to rely on my mind. 

Intuition isn't a selective gift bestowed upon some and absent in others. It's innate. Animals tense when they sense danger and humans are equipped with that most primitive instinct as well. We know when something isn't quite right. We just allow our minds to do all of the thinking for us rather than let our hearts to the leading. My mind sent me on a two plus decade long wild goose chase. My path was so out of alignment I kept winding up in odd destinations. It took my heart to guide me back toward my focus, my purpose. 

 

If you are unhappy and you know that you aren't in a place where you belong, congratulations. You are aware of your displacement. The next step? Be still. Think of who you were and what you wanted before life situations began to dictate your choices. How does that feel? If you're removed from it, think of where you want to be. Think about your dreams. Don't dismiss them as silly delights of your imagination. Pursue them. Or perhaps the familiar memories still speak to your heart. Does it still feel like something you want? If so, you know what to do. Make your plan. Work on it's execution. Pack light. Start your journey.