Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

A few blogs ago, I was giving my prospective on Co-Parenting. Yesterday, my sister politely informed me that I am not co-parenting at all. Here's how she came to that conclusion: As I may have mentioned before, since about July I have been working a part-time job in addition to my full time job and because of this I work 7 days a week. My part-time job is in Washington, DC which is about 1 hour away from my home. Instead of doing a total of 4 hours in commute time and gas mileage each weekend, I instead round up my daughters and crash at my mothers home which is 30 minutes away from my job saving me gas and time. The girl's father lives about two minutes away from my mothers house so naturally once the girls are in the neighborhood they want to see their Dad. Two weeks ago, he made arrangments to see them and came to pick them up about an hour after he said he would. The girls sat dressed staring out the window until he finally arrived. The following day he said that ...

"I feel empty." I said this with finality. I wanted him to know that I didn't plan on improving. "I am empty." I offered this immediately. I wanted him to understand that there was no changing my state of well being or lack thereof. This was a confirmation. He reclined in his cheap office chair. He always crossed his right leg neatly over his left and I always wondered how a man could do such a thing without posing a threat to his genitals. I then allowed my eyes to drift and gaze upon his crotch, pondering the placement of his genitals in the make-shift vice created by his crossed legs. He shifted slightly in his chair, obviously in response to my shameless ogling. "Why do you say that?" He exhaled. He always seemed bored with our sessions. Perhaps I wasn't insane enough to be exciting. "Its what I know to be true." This came on purpose. I wanted him to understand that he can't change what I know. He can only influence what I thi...

I was in an abusive relationship for about at least nine years. I was emotionally abused, I was financially taken for granted, and there were other types of abuse that I prefer not to elaborate on. The bottom line is that I was in a relationship that put me in a dark place and I became quite comfortable with the pain that I constantly endured. He was the first man I had ever fallen in love with and I didn't know anything else. I functioned within the dysfunction and while I knew things were not "right" I still stayed. Eventually it had nothing to do with love but much more to do with habit. Then- I ended it all. Each man I have met and dated since has been a better fit for me than the man before him. Each man I have met and dated since has shown me what it is that I deserve and has given me a glimpse of what happiness within a relationship can be like. Recently I met someone that has been a ray of light in my life. He is smart, he is attentive, hard-working, s...