The Dating Game(s)

The Dating Games

When I was a kid, I was hooked on re-runs of The Dating Game. I loved watching all of the snazzy guys and gals in their polyester get-ups answering question after question in hopes of sashaying over to the other side of the wall divider to Mr. or Ms. Right. I particularly enjoyed when the geeky guy or gal managed to schmooze their way off their stool and past the wall divider much to the dismay of the hot hopeful date on the other side.
Now, as a recently separated woman I have come to realize that the Dating Game is still running, only not on television but in my own life. The wall divider has been replaced by wisdom and intuition, and I still have several bachelors trying to get past that wall and into my heart (or pants... whichever comes first). Although I can see these men, I really can not see them for who they truly are which makes it hard for me to choose who gets to get past this wall that I have up.
The funny thing about dating is all of the rules that you have to create just to manage your interaction with the many personalities that you encounter while courting several different people.
There is no way to prepare yourself for the needy person, the selfish person, the unenthusiastic, the romantic, the bad lay, the great lay,... etc. However, somehow we have to sort through it all to find "the one". This feat is about as close to impossible as a James Bond mission. When it comes to looking for love, you have to somehow quickly learn to become a detective, secret agent, counselor, and efficient multi-tasker. You have to check out the persons background, remember things said, texted and emailed and constantly refer back and forth between all correspondence for continuity. You also have to know when you're sleeping with the enemy but be cool enough to have fun doing it but cold enough to cut them off when the choice is you or them. On top of that you must be able to figure out what everyone is thinking and stay ten steps ahead of them. Sadly, people lie a lot in the dating game and you don't want to slip up and start actually believing that people say what they truly mean... after all, who does that anymore? You may even have to listen to people complain about all sorts of things and you may very well be on their list of problems. You will be expected to help them solve it. If you don't you will come across as a calloused person with little care for others. This apparently is not a positive quality in the dating game. Of course you must also be able to do all of these things with several people at one time. Heaven help you if you are handling it one suitor at a time. You will almost never find the perfect mate that way. You have to increase your odds by juggling at least three to five people at once.
This turns into a full time job. You will be texting, calling, and emailing most of your day. You will suddenly need a calendar just to pencil in dates. You will need pictures to go with emails so you can remember who is who. You will need general responses that you can copy and paste into text messages and emails. You will certainly need to make time for several people throughout the month or even within the same week or else you will get the label of being lazy and without interest.
Why is it that we have to become Dr. Sherlock Bond with a knack for case management just to find a person worth our time and undivided attention? In a word, its exasperating to say the least. Part of the problem is that if you decided to follow your own rules and walk blindly into one relationship at a time, the risk of wasting your time is far too great. However, the alternative which involves sitting on the other side of a wall asking question after question to three, four, five and if you are truly dedicated six or more people is just as scary.
You want to know the great thing about Adam and Eve? There were just the two of them and they didn't have very many choices. It seems the more choices you have, the more confused you become. After having had given my full attention to one man for several years, I have to say that failing in that relationship was one of the scary and most disappointing things I have ever experienced thus far. I disliked it so much, that failing is no longer an option.
So how do you handle the Dating Game(s)? Do you go for the gold, or just refuse to play?
If you figure it out, let me know but until then just call me Dr. Bond.