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My Funny Valentine

My Funny Valentine

Initially, when you said to me that you sent me a gesture of affection
I'm the form of an email... I failed to express how unnecessary it was that you did such a thing
Instead I chose to be thankful that you thought of me although as the years have gone by my eyes have acquired a clarity that enables me
To see
Right through you
And when I read "your" words in a tone and richness I never heard
I immediately questioned the origin of your expression
After all it always seemed as if you created a profession of "yessing" me to death
For no particular reason
But apparently, for Mr. Misleading it's still hunting season
And I must look like an easy catch
Well,... Allow me to snatch back your fantasy and impose my reality on you
The way you imposed your contrived charm on me.
Despite your claims of refusing to play games
And creating erratic brain waves just to find the right words to say...
I copied your message
Yup, the whole kit and caboodle
And pasted that bitch in a search engine called Google
And I'd be darned... What did I see?
A direct quote from a Vampire Slayer named Buffy
A discontinued series from the 90's that's long been outdated
For some reason they used the exact words you created?
Now
Ain't
That
A bitch?
So as I sit here and try not to laugh
I fight the urge to call you, simply to ask
"why did you even bother, dumb ass"?
But I've decided not to bother
To inquire the reason
Because you may be hunting for dummies
But I'm just not in season
If you ever want to fool me- there's no need to try harder
Before you play the game
Just play a lot smarter.
I may be single, and sometimes I may get lonely
But I'd rather settle for alone
That waste time with a phony

-Dedicated to my FUNNY valentine
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