We met one day when I was coming from the mall.
When shame had yet to weigh on my shoulders and I still stood tall.
We dated a bit and moved quite fast
two lines on a stick and we had 18 years to last.
Two more lines, and we decided to marry.
I waddled to the courthouse with our baby I carried.
That moment was just that, it didnt last long
Before the blues were my only song.
He cheated as often as people sleep
or any other ritual like waking up or brushing teeth
there was never a time it wasnt in my face
when I got calls from women saying : "I've been at your place"
"I sat on your couch." "You're married? I'm sorry, I should have figured that out."
"He took me to six flags" "I saw your family pictures."
"He said your marriage was open, I didn't know he was with ya."
So one night, he was sitting on his phone.
Chatting with his mistress as if I weren't even home.
I pulled on my stockings and put on my dress.
A man asked me out again, but this time...
I said yes.
He asked where I was going, and I told him where
He got angry
but I just didn't care
I told him he was the leader, and he made the rules
and I could rebel or follow and I decided to choose
I will follow his lead and see other men
we can have an open marriage, and we can just be friends.
I left the house and went on my date
made him steak and potatoes au gratin (he cleaned his plate)
he had his own place, he had his own car
he had a nice body, but I didnt take it that far.
I came back home at 2am
He text me all night, over and over again
the kids were gone, they were at my mother's
so it was me and my husband... alone with each other.
He was standing behind the door when I walked in.
He didnt ask any questions, he knew where I'd been.
I walked into the bedroom and it smelled like hard liquor
in the background I heard the sound of hardcore porn (go figure)
I tried to leave the room, but he blocked my way
His eyes were bloodshot but he still had nothing to say
he didnt yell, he didnt make demands
but he blocked my path with a gun in his hands
I went to bed,... I was filled with fear
then he came to the bed to join me there.
"do you want your kids to be motherless?" he yelled as he straddled my waist
I shook my head no
with a gun in my face.
as for the rest of the night?
I need not elaborate.
Thank God he didnt pull the trigger, when I was his wife.
But I pulled the trigger on my departure and I left with my life.
some people count money, medals, or possessions as the ultimate prize.
But I count myself a winner, because I fought to survive.
-dedicated to all who have been in abusive relationships be it mental, physical, verbal or emotional.
When shame had yet to weigh on my shoulders and I still stood tall.
We dated a bit and moved quite fast
two lines on a stick and we had 18 years to last.
Two more lines, and we decided to marry.
I waddled to the courthouse with our baby I carried.
That moment was just that, it didnt last long
Before the blues were my only song.
He cheated as often as people sleep
or any other ritual like waking up or brushing teeth
there was never a time it wasnt in my face
when I got calls from women saying : "I've been at your place"
"I sat on your couch." "You're married? I'm sorry, I should have figured that out."
"He took me to six flags" "I saw your family pictures."
"He said your marriage was open, I didn't know he was with ya."
So one night, he was sitting on his phone.
Chatting with his mistress as if I weren't even home.
I pulled on my stockings and put on my dress.
A man asked me out again, but this time...
I said yes.
He asked where I was going, and I told him where
He got angry
but I just didn't care
I told him he was the leader, and he made the rules
and I could rebel or follow and I decided to choose
I will follow his lead and see other men
we can have an open marriage, and we can just be friends.
I left the house and went on my date
made him steak and potatoes au gratin (he cleaned his plate)
he had his own place, he had his own car
he had a nice body, but I didnt take it that far.
I came back home at 2am
He text me all night, over and over again
the kids were gone, they were at my mother's
so it was me and my husband... alone with each other.
He was standing behind the door when I walked in.
He didnt ask any questions, he knew where I'd been.
I walked into the bedroom and it smelled like hard liquor
in the background I heard the sound of hardcore porn (go figure)
I tried to leave the room, but he blocked my way
His eyes were bloodshot but he still had nothing to say
he didnt yell, he didnt make demands
but he blocked my path with a gun in his hands
I went to bed,... I was filled with fear
then he came to the bed to join me there.
"do you want your kids to be motherless?" he yelled as he straddled my waist
I shook my head no
with a gun in my face.
as for the rest of the night?
I need not elaborate.
Thank God he didnt pull the trigger, when I was his wife.
But I pulled the trigger on my departure and I left with my life.
some people count money, medals, or possessions as the ultimate prize.
But I count myself a winner, because I fought to survive.
-dedicated to all who have been in abusive relationships be it mental, physical, verbal or emotional.
Comments
Post a Comment