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Twisted World News Summary : What's Up with Kim and Don?

So you want to know what's going on with North Korea and the United States but are too afraid to ask because your friends will know that you are a hopelessly uninformed willfully ignorant spaz? No worries friend, I've got your back. Want to hear it? Here it go:

 Kim Jong-un's attitude when people tell him NOT to do something.

So Kim Jong-un is like from this legacy of badasses, right?! So he's all like " I am the Supreme leader of North Korea" and he will pretty much smoke your @$$ if you're fake. He only messes with people who keep it real. Then he decides he is going to do some bomb testing even though world leaders agreed to cut out the nuclear bomb stuff because who really wins when it comes to that sh*t? But Kim is like "nah, I give no f---'s" I'm bomb testing.
You have a problem? Come see me. 

 So everyone in the US is looking at Don like "Yo, what are you going to do dude?" Don's over there just working his thumbs tweeting, and looking up to drop a few word for the press. He isn't going hard like did on other folks. Don is tweeting and chilling.
So the tension is building, right? People are like " DON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!!"  Don finally speaks on it during a United Nations speech and basically said "Look, I'm getting sick of this crazy Rocket Man in North Korea. If he wants to pop off, I'm going to have to totally destroy North Korea." 'Cause he's totes over the Rocket Man Drama. 

Trumps not having the Rocket Man drama


So Kim Jong-un is all like "WHAT DID THAT FUTHA MUCKA JUST SAY?" and then Kim comes out and addresses Trump personally with his own public announcement. He goes all Samuel L. Jackson on him and berates the shat out of Trump, calls him a frikkin old senile fool and said that he accepts Trumps words as an invitation for a beat down. He is super frikking pissed and he isn't having any of that Trump verbal abuse that other's put up with. He's all like "to hell with you, you're more talk than action and I'm about to show you how we do in North Korea, fool. He's going completely gangsta' and now everyone is sitting around petrified that it's about to go down.

Kim Jong-un is Sam J. Pulp Fiction Pissed Right Now

Now everyone in North Korea and the US are crapping bricks because we have two hot headed leaders who appear to be leading us into war we want nothing to do with and have nothing to gain from but bragging rights and a surge in headstone purchases.  


So that's your Twisted World News Summary 

May the force be with you, or the bomb shelter. I don't really know at this point. 

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