The Time I : Realized I Was The Cause of The Drama in My Life

Photo by Dollar Gill on Unsplash

Tired of the drama and dysfunction? That's interesting because chances are, you created it and or/facilitated it. Wait! Don't stop reading before I explain:

If you're in a lackluster relationship, there was a point that you realized this person wasn't for you. If you didn't decide they weren't for you, then you likely began to ponder if they actually are for you. Sometimes it takes time to be definitive. If you're always in the midst of drama with friends or family, you have to wonder where your participation in the nonsense you're enduring comes in. If you are always in the middle of workplace gossip, you may want to ask yourself why you are aware anyone is gossiping. Even the person playing reporter has a role in your dramatic workplace story. If you're overweight, you had a hand in getting there one way or another. It doesn't matter if you have a medical issue, you can monitor your caloric intake to offset the weight gain. I know because I have had that issue too. Of course situations vary however, if you take ownership of the situation you enable yourself with the power to change it!

The moment you realize that someone or something is a headache within your life and you continue to allow it, you become a part of the problem. Drama has a way of snowballing that way. It starts small and then somehow matures into a untamable monster that's far harder to ignore or do away with. When you allow this monster to grow you are not only feeding it but grooming it, housing it, and making it family. The drama monster births more drama monsters and the next thing you know you have several dramatic issues to deal with that all stem from the one issue you should have eliminated a long time ago. 

The truth?

Many of the things we go through are a result of our actions or inaction. Have you ever heard of passive resistance? It's the act of expression opposition without violence. Many people have used this method for change from Mahatma Gandhi to Martin Luther King Jr., and based on history it seems to be an effective method. The unfortunate truth however, is that many people employ passive assistance instead. Rather than standing firm in their decision for the prevention of drama, they instead stand firm in their participation by engaging or remaining present. 

Think of your life as a story. Each person and situation in your life is a chapter. Some people write their own book, others read it. There are a few who just have the book on their shelf and do absolutely nothing at all with it. Are you the author or the reader of your book? Have you ever even bothered to take a look at how your life story is panning out? It's never too late to write a new chapter and change your ending but if you refuse to take control, you will be no more than a witness to your own life instead of an active participant. The primary goal however, is to become a manager and eventually an owner. Keeping reading. It gets better, I promise! 

Ownership is an empowering thing. It allows the opportunity to take control. Have you ever seen  a manager step in the middle of an office project only to reassign duties, interject with some thought provoking questions, or change the scope of the project altogether? Within that moment employees may feel frustrated, grateful, annoyed or confused. Whatever the response, what can't be disputed is that the manager took control. The manager exercised responsibility for the outcome of the project and decided on the best way to see it through to completion. That type of action may cause some groveling from employees but the manager is actively writing the story of the project; refusing to allow anyone else to dictate it's ending.  Are you the manager of your life? If so, take control to create the outcomes you desire. 

Drama is a choice. You can either engage, or disengage however so long as you continue to grant ownership to others rather than assign it to yourself, you will always be a spectator within your own life rather than a manager or better yet- an owner of it.