Well, I'm back at it.
I know what I said so please don't remind me. I promised that I was going to stay away from men for a few months until I got time to breathe, stop and smell the roses, clear my mind, etc. Seven weeks later I was typing in my bank card information looking for some interaction on a dating site.
Allow me to be clear: I hate dating sites. I hate that they send you the same rotation of members although there supposidly HUNDREDS of them available. I hate that I have to send a virtual wink at men I am interested in and hope that they will see my profile and virtually "wink" back at me. I really hate when I get notification that I have an email and its not from a guy I am interested in but the creep at the bottom of the cyber barrel that probably sends EVERYONE (including men) emails. Did I mention the whole culture of online dating?
First you have The Reluctant. The Reluctant is a population I am a part of. We want to meet someone but we are apprehensive about going about it by way of internet dating. Alas, we can't seem to meet normal people out and about during the day, so we decide to open ourselves to numerous weirdo's on the internet in the hopes we can sort out other normal people there. The Reluctant typically sign on temporarily. We tell ourselves that we will only remain active on the site for x amount of months and then we will give up on companionship completely and become wreckless whores; our promiscuity birthed from discouragement.
Next you have the Fly By Nights. The Fly By Nights are a mixed bag. Some of them would make awesome prospects for something serious or something light hearted and fun, but they never purchase a membership. They only open accounts during the free weekend or month long promotions and no sooner than you find them do you realize that your days or numbered. When you find a FBN, you need to work fast because they aren't willing to invest much time or any dollars to find out your worth.
Last you have the Die Hards. The Die Hards are experienced. This whole web dating thing is not new to them. In fact, they have accounts on quite a few sites and they always initiate contact with you. Your interaction with them never starts with a "wink". They go for the gusto. You log in and you have an email. After a few exchanges (and I mean about two), they are already dropping their number, and proximity to your zip code in your inbox. Don't worry- The Die Hard isn't crazy. He or she just isn't crazy about the formalities. The Die Hard wants to get to the point. Oh, and in case The Die Hards approach is too forward for you and you decide to gracefully decline his or her advances do not feel guilty. The Die Hard approaches several people daily. You aren't the first, last or the only.
While doing this whole online dating "thing", I came across another Reluctant like myself. He signed up for 6 months and vowed to close his account once six months had passed. I signed up for 30 days and made the same promise. When he sent me his "hello", I immediately went to his profile like a good novice would and read it through and through. I wasn't sure if I wanted to reply. He DEFINITELY wanted to have children and I am NOT birthing anymore children. Still, I replied.
I'm glad I did.
After several emails and texts, I think he's a cool guy. Now, I'm not saying that I plan to wear his Letter Jacket or anything folks but I do plan to take the time required to get to know him better.
We met in person for the first time over the weekend and I went to his house to pick him up for a quick drink that ended as an impromptu slumber party.
I sat down, and then we got to chatting which is something we do well together. We spoke for a few hours and I hadn't realized how much time passed. By about 1am, we said "to hell with it" and put a movie on. We laughed through and entire action/drama film. Did I mention that there was no comedic presence in this entire film? We simply created it.
Once the movie was over, the only thing that made sense at that point was to sleep. I had work in the morning. When I told him I needed a power nap, he offered me the bed, the couch or the futon. I chose the bed. I had no idea what he was going to choose but I kicked my sneakers off and crashed.
Soon, I felt his presence in the room and he was beside me. Aside from some very PG cuddles, we ended up chatting each other up even more and eventually passing out until my alarm rang. I got up, pulled on my sneakers and he walked me to my car.
Its all felt like a whirlwind because for such an intimate evening, one would think we had known each other longer but the reality is that its only been a short time.
One may say that I am jumped the gun by crashing at his apartment for the night but I'm content with all that has (and hasn't) transpired between me and my fellow Reluctant. It lets me know that I am truly open minded and ready to experience interaction with a man/men again. I'm not sure where we will end up, but I am open to the possibilities and I think thats good enough for now.
Being that liberated and unashamed makes me feel good. Lets see where it takes me.
I know what I said so please don't remind me. I promised that I was going to stay away from men for a few months until I got time to breathe, stop and smell the roses, clear my mind, etc. Seven weeks later I was typing in my bank card information looking for some interaction on a dating site.
Allow me to be clear: I hate dating sites. I hate that they send you the same rotation of members although there supposidly HUNDREDS of them available. I hate that I have to send a virtual wink at men I am interested in and hope that they will see my profile and virtually "wink" back at me. I really hate when I get notification that I have an email and its not from a guy I am interested in but the creep at the bottom of the cyber barrel that probably sends EVERYONE (including men) emails. Did I mention the whole culture of online dating?
First you have The Reluctant. The Reluctant is a population I am a part of. We want to meet someone but we are apprehensive about going about it by way of internet dating. Alas, we can't seem to meet normal people out and about during the day, so we decide to open ourselves to numerous weirdo's on the internet in the hopes we can sort out other normal people there. The Reluctant typically sign on temporarily. We tell ourselves that we will only remain active on the site for x amount of months and then we will give up on companionship completely and become wreckless whores; our promiscuity birthed from discouragement.
Next you have the Fly By Nights. The Fly By Nights are a mixed bag. Some of them would make awesome prospects for something serious or something light hearted and fun, but they never purchase a membership. They only open accounts during the free weekend or month long promotions and no sooner than you find them do you realize that your days or numbered. When you find a FBN, you need to work fast because they aren't willing to invest much time or any dollars to find out your worth.
Last you have the Die Hards. The Die Hards are experienced. This whole web dating thing is not new to them. In fact, they have accounts on quite a few sites and they always initiate contact with you. Your interaction with them never starts with a "wink". They go for the gusto. You log in and you have an email. After a few exchanges (and I mean about two), they are already dropping their number, and proximity to your zip code in your inbox. Don't worry- The Die Hard isn't crazy. He or she just isn't crazy about the formalities. The Die Hard wants to get to the point. Oh, and in case The Die Hards approach is too forward for you and you decide to gracefully decline his or her advances do not feel guilty. The Die Hard approaches several people daily. You aren't the first, last or the only.
While doing this whole online dating "thing", I came across another Reluctant like myself. He signed up for 6 months and vowed to close his account once six months had passed. I signed up for 30 days and made the same promise. When he sent me his "hello", I immediately went to his profile like a good novice would and read it through and through. I wasn't sure if I wanted to reply. He DEFINITELY wanted to have children and I am NOT birthing anymore children. Still, I replied.
I'm glad I did.
After several emails and texts, I think he's a cool guy. Now, I'm not saying that I plan to wear his Letter Jacket or anything folks but I do plan to take the time required to get to know him better.
We met in person for the first time over the weekend and I went to his house to pick him up for a quick drink that ended as an impromptu slumber party.
I sat down, and then we got to chatting which is something we do well together. We spoke for a few hours and I hadn't realized how much time passed. By about 1am, we said "to hell with it" and put a movie on. We laughed through and entire action/drama film. Did I mention that there was no comedic presence in this entire film? We simply created it.
Once the movie was over, the only thing that made sense at that point was to sleep. I had work in the morning. When I told him I needed a power nap, he offered me the bed, the couch or the futon. I chose the bed. I had no idea what he was going to choose but I kicked my sneakers off and crashed.
Soon, I felt his presence in the room and he was beside me. Aside from some very PG cuddles, we ended up chatting each other up even more and eventually passing out until my alarm rang. I got up, pulled on my sneakers and he walked me to my car.
Its all felt like a whirlwind because for such an intimate evening, one would think we had known each other longer but the reality is that its only been a short time.
One may say that I am jumped the gun by crashing at his apartment for the night but I'm content with all that has (and hasn't) transpired between me and my fellow Reluctant. It lets me know that I am truly open minded and ready to experience interaction with a man/men again. I'm not sure where we will end up, but I am open to the possibilities and I think thats good enough for now.
Being that liberated and unashamed makes me feel good. Lets see where it takes me.
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