There are some people who always want to tell you about their woes. I can deal with that. Then there are people who want you to solve their problems for them. I can't deal with that.
Please know that I have had my fair share of issues and I have been given grace on numerous occasion by friends, family and even strangers. Each time, I cringe because I don't enjoy receiving help. I feel as if I am failing when I need it, or as if I am weak.
Today someone told me that their car got vandalized, it rained and the rain ruined the car's interior, their paycheck is short, and they don't know what to do. Now, I wanted to know how this information was going to affect me. See, we have an arrangment and a part of that arrangement requires a "transaction" to take place. So when I am being informed all of all the mishaps in your life, I am wondering when the bottom line will be discussed (the bottom line being, are you going to meet your end of the deal?). As much as I am capable of feeling compassion for others, and I aprreciate when others feel compassion for me there is a thin line between having sympathy and becoming an enabler.
In this particular situation, I simply gave my advice and informed the person that I expect payment today.
I know it sounds cold but the fact is that everyone struggles. While in different capacities, its a struggle all the same! One shouldn't be punished for making more money, or being married, or owning a home, or having two cars. We all have different issues.
I have a friend. She owns two homes and whenever her tenants are a day late on rent she collects a late fee. People have labled her a rent nazi... after all, whats in a day? The difference in a day is that she has bills to pay too and owning two homes won't hold her exempt from paying them. So when she needs to pay her credit card bill off should she do a song and dance because her tenants paid her rent late? I don't think the credit card company would care.
The bottom line here is use your good judgment when giving someone a break. If you constantly give someone a pass each time they present you with a excuse or a dilemma, your compassion will cost you more than you can ever afford.
Please know that I have had my fair share of issues and I have been given grace on numerous occasion by friends, family and even strangers. Each time, I cringe because I don't enjoy receiving help. I feel as if I am failing when I need it, or as if I am weak.
Today someone told me that their car got vandalized, it rained and the rain ruined the car's interior, their paycheck is short, and they don't know what to do. Now, I wanted to know how this information was going to affect me. See, we have an arrangment and a part of that arrangement requires a "transaction" to take place. So when I am being informed all of all the mishaps in your life, I am wondering when the bottom line will be discussed (the bottom line being, are you going to meet your end of the deal?). As much as I am capable of feeling compassion for others, and I aprreciate when others feel compassion for me there is a thin line between having sympathy and becoming an enabler.
In this particular situation, I simply gave my advice and informed the person that I expect payment today.
I know it sounds cold but the fact is that everyone struggles. While in different capacities, its a struggle all the same! One shouldn't be punished for making more money, or being married, or owning a home, or having two cars. We all have different issues.
I have a friend. She owns two homes and whenever her tenants are a day late on rent she collects a late fee. People have labled her a rent nazi... after all, whats in a day? The difference in a day is that she has bills to pay too and owning two homes won't hold her exempt from paying them. So when she needs to pay her credit card bill off should she do a song and dance because her tenants paid her rent late? I don't think the credit card company would care.
The bottom line here is use your good judgment when giving someone a break. If you constantly give someone a pass each time they present you with a excuse or a dilemma, your compassion will cost you more than you can ever afford.
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