Super Mom: Corporate vs. Kids

Photo courtesy of MotherTruth

About 11 years ago, my mornings typically consisted of me hoisting a sleeping toddler into a stroller, speed walking to a train station, granting obligatory good mornings to day care staff, signing my child in, and rushing back to the train station to go to work. Somehow my heart got the best of my mind and I was insane enough to hit the reset button after 5 years and start the routine all over again with my second child. 

I recall nervously avoiding mentioning my children during job interviews knowing that it would hurt my chances. I was a single mother, with two children and every sniffle, fever, and boo boo was going to take me out of the office. The realization that this information is unfavorable to the employer will make any hopeful candidate nervous. Even after being hired, I would try to keep my status as a parent private until I felt secure in my position. 

With a pre-teen and tween, the pressure hasn't been alleviated. I'm not paying outrageous child care fees however, work hasn't become any less demanding. With large companies offering coverage and allowances for deffered parenting options (Fertility Preservation, anyone?), Corporate America has only become more challenging for the parent. Imagine how that affects a parental team of one. You guessed it; dangerously close to impossible. 

Through the years I have learned a few tricks to balance my work and home life:

1. Telecommute: Sending the kids to school, and working from home allows for a more relaxed day. The absence of rush hour traffic and/or intimate train rides with strangers leaves more room for productivity. The amount of time one saves not having to commute really adds up and makes for increased productivity. 

2. Start a small business: I know this sounds insane, and I will readily profess my insanity ( I think it gives my personality 'pop'). However, working toward something that you can call your own motivates you to plow through the workload that will never truly bring you the sense of accomplishment that we all deserve. Timing and finance for such endeavors are imperative but you can always start. There is nothing wrong with planting seeds. If your children are a bit older, share your goals with them and allow them to be a part of it. Set the example of entreprenurial ambition. They will thank you for it later!

3. Say No: Don't be timid to say no to your employer now and again. If your job doesn't call for overtime, don't do it. You know what you agreed to when you were hired so don't allow yourself to be taken for granted. Of course going the extra mile can result in promotions, but finding balance between your achievements and personal time is important. 

4. Use Social Networking: Facebook and Twitter are for more than random rants and humorous memes. Use it for it's primary intention, to communicate with a click of a mouse! Join groups or find others who may be able to assist you with the kids. No man is an island. There are plenty of single parents out there who need the same support that you are seeking. I once had a baby sitting rotation with a girlfriend of mine. We would watch each others kids during the weekend which allowed both of us to have a social life or even a day to enjoy time to ourselves. If there is help, use it. 

5. Do your job well: Employers usually recognize when they have a good thing. Rather than eliminate someone with less than stellar attendance, they will keep them and find ways to work around the issue. Once you prove yourself to be valuable, a good employer will always think twice before giving up on you. 

The life a working single parent isn't easy, but it can be done. Find the way that works for you.