Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

When started dating after separation, I did it in phases. The first phase was catch up. I wanted to catch up with every man I had a spark with to explore where it would have went had I not gotten married. Once I realized that these "what if's" were really "don't bother's" I moved on to try to find "the one." After several failed attempts and false starts with "the one" I began making rules. I didn't always know what I liked but I was certain after several failed relationships of what I didnt. However, now that I look back, I realize that plenty of the red flags that made me run were almost always a shared similarity with my ex. If a man said he was interested in anything my ex was interested in, I began to feel uneasy and delve deeper for more "flags". I'll even admit that if a man were from the same country or continent as my ex, I would get turned off. I now know that I was suffering from PTRD (Post Traumatic Re...

Recently, I had the pleasure of witnessing a close family member tie the knot, jump the broom, take the plunge, etc. I have to admit that a part of me watched her grin and spin in her dress, dance, laugh and enjoy her day and I felt as if I were watching a documentary. On my wedding day I was 5 months pregnant, the groom was late, I was in the courthouse and I paid for the entire thing. We didn't even have rings. So as you can imagine, watching a woman totally enjoy her special day was a joy to see but also quite strange. I wonder how someone reaches that point of happiness when it comes to relationships? Now this couple has had their fair share of ups and downs. I've witnessed it. I was surprised they made it the altar. This isn't to speak negatively about their relationship. I'm often surprised anyone makes it the the altar these days. However, when the big day came there was nothing but joy for the both of them. The happiness they felt toward each other was palpable...