Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Love: Underestimated But Not Overrated  There was a time that my views on love would be best described as jaded at best. The irony in that is when reflecting upon my previous love relationships, I would have to admit that I didn't experience the full potential of what love can truly bring. I was often in torrid love affairs where either I was smitten and they weren't, they were smitten and I wasn't or we were both smitten and tormenting each other with our issues. Realizing this has led me to the conclusion that you can't grow tired of something you never truly experienced and to be bitter about a poor outcome from a poor investment is unfair and foolish. When I was married, my husband would often complain that the person I was with others was a more kind and jovial version of the woman I was when we were alone. I would dismiss his claims with the false assurance that I was only wearing the obligatory mask that all people wear when they interact with outsiders...

The Turner’s Elaine hurriedly grabbed for her tattered black handbag as she exited her 1994 black mustang. She hadn’t washed her hair in about five days and piling her thick black locks high in a bun atop her head wasn’t going to disguise her neglect much longer. She felt the familiar breeze of the air against her backside and routinely hiked up her low rise skinny jeans to cover the inadvertent peepshow her buttocks were giving. Her saddle colored leather jacket looked about as done for as her hair, but that wasn’t something she was willing to change. She head for the school doors taking a brisk stride. Her long legs kicked upward, as if she were practicing her best goose step in some foreign army; likely the consequence of wearing cumbersome motorcycle boots. As she strode toward the principal’s office she sighed and curled the top corner of her upper lip, making no effort to hide her annoyance when she spotted Belinda. Belinda was impeccably dressed as always and returne...

"When I asked about you, I was told that you were my cousin." She sat there, quieted by his admission. She then pondered why such a thing would be said, and imagined what it must have been like for him to meet her and realize that for all of these years he was lied to. Had he not remembered the time they played together in the yard, kicking over mushrooms and digging for dinosaur fossils? Well of course he had. He just thought it was his cousin he was playing with. The silence was uncomfortable. Both of them sat there, equally disturbed. She felt rejected, he felt deceived. This is the consequence of a father's denial of his infidelity. Lies perpetuate the cycle of mistakes, and brothers and sisters sit together, bonded by the pain or repelled by the truth. -For all of my brothers and sisters, with love.

This evening, I finally managed to meet up with some very dear friends. This was a meeting that had long been in the making, and although I had every intention of catchin up time and life just didn't seemt to permit. Once I finally managed to see them again it was nice to be able to catch up. Even with four children and a cranky teen between us, we somehow finagled great conversation along with some humor that could be considered for adults only. Thankfully the children were occupied with themselves and at times each other. There is an elephant in the room when it comes to this relationship that I share with my friends. There's a certain "I know what you did last summer" quality to our relationship that we all are aware of, but we haven't shared with the kids. No, there wasn't any swinging or anything of that nature. There's just an elephant in the room. Okay not an elephant, maybe a billygoat. I often wonder when we will reveal our shared conn...

My mom raised three kids on her own. My close friend Sandra's* mom raised two kids on her own. My friend Lana* is a product of a married household. Let me tell you some more facts: I am now a single mom raising two kids on my own. My sister is a single mother raising two kids. Sandra is a single mom raising three kids on her own. Lana is married, with two children and more often than not, a stay at home mom. Lets take a look closer: My husband has always told me that I was destined to be a single mother. It is his belief that I didn't put in the effort required to keep our marriage afloat because I was far too receptive to being a single mother since that was the type of household that I came from. This may be true. I have no idea what a working marriage looks like since I wasn't the product of one. One of my brothers who grew up with my rolling stone of a father informed me that many of the flaws my husband had were the same flaws our father had. I found this to...