Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Photo by  Ian Espinosa  on  Unsplash I tried to die. I think I was 18 when I had my first crisis. A "crisis" is the term used to describe when the depression has consumed its sufferer to the point of debilitation or suicide. I was 18, and I failed my road test for the second time. For some reason, I felt completely defeated and the most logical solution to escape the pain and hopelessness that consumed me was death. So I took at least 8 ibuprofen and chugged some Trinidadian rum that my mother stowed away for holiday cake making. I drafted a sorrowful letter to my mother, brother, sister and nephew telling them that I loved them, but the pain was far too unbearable to endure for any length of time. I asked God for forgiveness. I placed the letter under my pillow and went to nap only, I wasn't very tired. Had I not taken enough? My sister was a nurse. Maybe I needed to adjust my intake according to my weight. Rummaging through the cupboards, I searched for any OTC p...

Today at work, a man was leaving the building and told me "stay beautiful". Usually, when a man says that I assume he is giving me a compliment but today I took it another way. After a break up, a break down, and a build up in progress, "stay beautiful" means so much more to me. A bad romance can kill your confidence. Weight gain can kill your self esteem. Working long hours can kill your social life. Here I was, a complete mess. I felt  ugly and if my outside reflected what I felt within, I looked ugly too. Then, he told me to stay beautiful and it all suddenly made sense. Staying beautiful isn't just a compliment a man or woman casually tosses your way. It's an action. Staying power isn't easy. We often see celebrities, whose foundation of fame and fortune often started off with a "look" long before it ended with talent (if at all). That's when the plastic surgery commences. We see the nips and tucks and eventually the disfigured faces...