Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

I have always had a slew of male friends. It not that I didn't have my fair share of female friends as well its just that I always had male friends that I was always able to confide in, spend time with, as well as serve as a confidante for them as many of them have done served the same role in my life. I've noticed that a few of my males friends seem to utilize me as a substitute girlfriend. They don't desire to be in a relationship with me however they expect me to fill in the voids of their relationships. For some reason, this doesn't sit well with me at all. I have had this occur within at least three friendships and I can say with certainty that I will be putting an end to it today. Take a look at the cases in point: Kevin: Kevin and I were speaking and emailing each other daily. He gave me hope of actually embarking upon a relationship after my separation. We finally came to the conclusion that my marriage was an issue for him. He didn't want to be involved

Lately I have been reevaluating the meaning of friendship. What is a friend? Is it someone you can count on no matter what? Is it someone who loves you in spite of actually knowing you? Is it someone who encourages you? Is it someone you tell your darkest secrets to? I still don't have the answer as I believe that everyone holds a different standard as to what constitutes a friendship. For me a friend is someone who you know without a doubt loves you and values you as a person is there to lift you up, as well and smack you with a dose of reality if you are in need of it. I had a friend once. I met him when I was in a very low place in my life. I was struggling in many ways. Somehow he was able to see my spirit instead of my circumstance and became my friend. We became closer in one year than I had to people I had known for many. Then, he met someone. Lets just call her Summer. It was one of those whimsical flakey names and whimsical and flakey she was. He disappeared, totally t