Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Initially I loved being single. I used to joke with a friend about how we envied Will Smith in I Am Legend. A life of solitude with an awesome dog didn't seem too shabby.. post apocalyptic infected or not. But then this terrible thing happened: time. My kids are more independent. I can see them hanging with their friends in a few more years and I won't be the "it" thing. It sucks rolling over in the bed on a winter night and feeling an ice cold spot next to you. Friends with benefits gets old because we are all rotating friends for more exciting benefits and we know it, its just unspoken. It's like we have the benefits line and we are all standing in it, waiting our turn to get a piece. Trying new benefits isn't always good to do either. You don't know if your care will be up to par for all that... "ails you." I have no one to force to watch Food Network with me. Whenever I need a massage I have to actually go to a massage parlor. (who do

Why do I keep doing this? I've already said that I quit on love . I took about a year off of dating, an entire year! I sat by myself and attempted to sort out my life's meaning and pursue more tangible goals that didn't involve the ever elusive "real love" that dwells in the habitat of "Dysfunctional Peoplelia". So! Let's go down the roster, shall we? Jimmy: That's not his real name, but I never was fond of putting people on front street via blog. Jimmy is 45, has 5 kids and two marriages under his belt. The kids are grown with the exception of the Irish twins who are the same age as my youngest. He is separated from his last wife for three years now and neither of them have made an effort to divorce. I don't know if its laziness, hope, or financial. Perhaps all three? I'm not looking to jump a broom so I don't care very much. He and I hang out, laugh, smooch, and text. However, he is a bit distant. Before you tell me that hangin