Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

I seldom apologize for anything because I truly believe that I am right about most things. I know this makes me a jerk to many people but I don't feel guilty because, well... I don't think I'm wrong so who really cares what anyone thinks of me? However, despite my excellent average of being right, there are those times when I am off the mark and I am just wrong. Recently I experienced one of those times. I was seeing this guy, who I was very hard on (we had a history that can best be described as turbulent). After overcoming many of our issues, we decided to give the relationship another effort. Things went well until he just stopped calling me and I was so livid. What hurt more is that despite his shortcomings, I held this man in very high regard and for him to be so careless and flippant with my feelings was a monumental disappointment. A year passed and I got an email from him saying "thank you for adding me to your linkedin network..." the email went on...

Kismet: The will of Allah; destiny. I don't believe in Allah but like muslims I do believe that my God's will triumphs over my own. So often I have heard people tell me that they prayed and God told them the answer to their prayers. When things seem to fall apart leaving only financial and/or emotional debris and confusion, one is left wondering if Gods "message" was lost in translation. So when I married what now seems like the wrong man for me did I hear from God? I thought I was doing the right thing. I even thought that the "signs" were pointing to him. However, it ends up that I was just trying to do the right thing. Did I learn from my failed marriage, absolutely. Could I have done without the pain and drama that came from our union? Definitely. Thing is when I met my soon to be ex-husband, I liked him. We hung out, we had fun, we had a good relationship. He professed his love for me and I decided to fall right there in it with him and we got pregnant...

Dreamgirls was a successful Broadway play for years. It even made it's way to the big screen in 2006. Original headliners of the staged version included then little known Loretta Divine and now long forgotten Jennifer Holliday. Watching the performance of the then robust and popular Holliday allowed me to witness her successful portrayal of the scorned character Effie White. In a passionate performance she screamed, sobbed and belted the lyrics of "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" in such a way that years later many have made a valiant effort to match her vocal bravado in singing the same song. Of those attempts, most have fallen far from the mark. With this knowledge, I wondered why was it that Jennifer Hollidays career didn't move much further beyond her Dreamgirls fame. Upon doing a bit of google research ( not the most reliable, but definitely the most convenient) I have found several theories as to why Jennifer Holiday's career came to a standstill...

For most, dating isn't easy (see " Dating Game (s) post). Can I be honest? I have no idea on where to begin! With each failed relationship, after sulking and licking your wounds one would hope that they have at least learned something from the experience. As much as we invest in these relationships, even after their demise we should hope to take something away from it. Whether that means that you no longer have tolerance for someone who doesn't make you happy, or finally realizing someone who only changes their underwear on special occasions may not be the right person for you... the bottom line is that you have standards. For me, standards were truly created and defined after navigating the terrain of turbulent relationships. Its not that I hadn't a clue of what I wanted in a partner, its just that a few go-rounds with the wrong person will let you know what you DON'T want in a partner. Negative experiences will often leave me far less receptive ...