Dreamgirls was a successful Broadway play for years. It even made it's way to the big screen in 2006. Original headliners of the staged version included then little known Loretta Divine and now long forgotten Jennifer Holliday. Watching the performance of the then robust and popular Holliday allowed me to witness her successful portrayal of the scorned character Effie White. In a passionate performance she screamed, sobbed and belted the lyrics of "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" in such a way that years later many have made a valiant effort to match her vocal bravado in singing the same song. Of those attempts, most have fallen far from the mark.
With this knowledge, I wondered why was it that Jennifer Hollidays career didn't move much further beyond her Dreamgirls fame. Upon doing a bit of google research ( not the most reliable, but definitely the most convenient) I have found several theories as to why Jennifer Holiday's career came to a standstill. One belief is that Jennifer's dramatic weight loss caused fans to lose interest because they were no longer able to identify with her since becoming a thin woman. There also had been talk of Holiday being somewhat of a "diva" and becoming quite full of herself after the success of her performance. It's been said that she demanded preferential treatment and required a drastic increase in her salary for each performance. After the show had run it's course she embarked on a singing career but never quite found her niche. Her rich voice seemed to overwhelm the soft ballads written for her and more upbeat tempo's seemed overworked with her trademark riffs and dramatic style. Still, with the memory of her days on the stage firmly imprinted in her mind Jennifer continued to make hefty demands. Perhaps she believed that her reputation should have preceded her and expected others to feel the same. Perhaps, others did not feel the same at all. One can speculate as to the reason behind Jennifer Holliday's career never made it past moderate success however the fact remains that it did indeed fall to the wayside.
Recently, during a mediated session I told my husband of four years and love of nine that I wanted a divorce. Seeing the anger in his face and sensing the pain in his heart hurt me deeply. During the meeting he refused to accept my decision and insisted that our union was made under the promise that it never be broken ( a promise that I acknowledge making).
So after an emotionally taxing session with our marriage therapist, I am left with nothing but conflicting thoughts on my marriage and it's pending conclusion. I constantly wonder if I am unreasonable in my reasoning. I try to be matter of fact about something that's too sensitive and far too emotional to handle with logic alone. Any relationship is as emotional as it is cerebral so when contemplating it's end should we not factor the two in our decision? This is never easy to do. So often the heart conflicts with the mind as the body often does with the spirit. What once was a happy, successful and enjoyable relationship can somehow wither away into oblivion. There are plenty of reasons why people break up. One person may believe that they were wronged and have mentally logged each offense until their resentment could no longer be contained or remedied and therefore ended their union. Another may just seem to feel as if they fell out of love for one reason or another. Most times while one person seems to have plenty of reasons to end a partnership, the other is left speculating the cause of it's demise. Seldom do both parties know exactly why the relationship has failed and it's a near miracle if they both agree upon the same reason as to why it did. At the end of the day both parties have no choice but to accept that it did in fact fail which brings me back to Jennifer Holliday. Ironically, she demonstrated her star potential by taking on the role of a rising diva scorned by her lover and friends. Despite her undeniable talent as a lead singer, Effie's career as a Dreamgirl ended on a sour note. Jennifer Holliday who embodied the essence of Effie White and touched thousands in the process shared a similar fate of the character she once portrayed.
As I reflect on my marriage, I believe that both my husband and I put forth genuine emotion, passion and effort in our roles as husband and wife. Much like Effie white, we had high expectations and a false sense of security that led us to believe there was no place to go but to the top. When the realization of our failure as spouses hit us, we were far too devastated to pin point why we failed. We instead kept trying to make it work. Like Jennifer Holliday, for some reason our success just couldn't ride on potential. Potential at some point must be realized and if it isn't, even the brightest star... fades away.
Listening to the words belted out so passionately by Jennifer Holliday as she played Effie White, often stirs a great deal of emotion within me. After begging and pleading, she finally concludes her argument with a promise: "You're gonna love me".
It's true, we did-- and we still do. But it doesn't change the outcome for the great Jennifer Holliday, scorned Effie White, or my marriage.
I still love my husband, and I have no desire to discontinue that love however, much like the case of Effie and Jennifer... love isn't always enough.
-Dedicated to the man who held fast to my heart for nine years and counting...
With this knowledge, I wondered why was it that Jennifer Hollidays career didn't move much further beyond her Dreamgirls fame. Upon doing a bit of google research ( not the most reliable, but definitely the most convenient) I have found several theories as to why Jennifer Holiday's career came to a standstill. One belief is that Jennifer's dramatic weight loss caused fans to lose interest because they were no longer able to identify with her since becoming a thin woman. There also had been talk of Holiday being somewhat of a "diva" and becoming quite full of herself after the success of her performance. It's been said that she demanded preferential treatment and required a drastic increase in her salary for each performance. After the show had run it's course she embarked on a singing career but never quite found her niche. Her rich voice seemed to overwhelm the soft ballads written for her and more upbeat tempo's seemed overworked with her trademark riffs and dramatic style. Still, with the memory of her days on the stage firmly imprinted in her mind Jennifer continued to make hefty demands. Perhaps she believed that her reputation should have preceded her and expected others to feel the same. Perhaps, others did not feel the same at all. One can speculate as to the reason behind Jennifer Holliday's career never made it past moderate success however the fact remains that it did indeed fall to the wayside.
Recently, during a mediated session I told my husband of four years and love of nine that I wanted a divorce. Seeing the anger in his face and sensing the pain in his heart hurt me deeply. During the meeting he refused to accept my decision and insisted that our union was made under the promise that it never be broken ( a promise that I acknowledge making).
So after an emotionally taxing session with our marriage therapist, I am left with nothing but conflicting thoughts on my marriage and it's pending conclusion. I constantly wonder if I am unreasonable in my reasoning. I try to be matter of fact about something that's too sensitive and far too emotional to handle with logic alone. Any relationship is as emotional as it is cerebral so when contemplating it's end should we not factor the two in our decision? This is never easy to do. So often the heart conflicts with the mind as the body often does with the spirit. What once was a happy, successful and enjoyable relationship can somehow wither away into oblivion. There are plenty of reasons why people break up. One person may believe that they were wronged and have mentally logged each offense until their resentment could no longer be contained or remedied and therefore ended their union. Another may just seem to feel as if they fell out of love for one reason or another. Most times while one person seems to have plenty of reasons to end a partnership, the other is left speculating the cause of it's demise. Seldom do both parties know exactly why the relationship has failed and it's a near miracle if they both agree upon the same reason as to why it did. At the end of the day both parties have no choice but to accept that it did in fact fail which brings me back to Jennifer Holliday. Ironically, she demonstrated her star potential by taking on the role of a rising diva scorned by her lover and friends. Despite her undeniable talent as a lead singer, Effie's career as a Dreamgirl ended on a sour note. Jennifer Holliday who embodied the essence of Effie White and touched thousands in the process shared a similar fate of the character she once portrayed.
As I reflect on my marriage, I believe that both my husband and I put forth genuine emotion, passion and effort in our roles as husband and wife. Much like Effie white, we had high expectations and a false sense of security that led us to believe there was no place to go but to the top. When the realization of our failure as spouses hit us, we were far too devastated to pin point why we failed. We instead kept trying to make it work. Like Jennifer Holliday, for some reason our success just couldn't ride on potential. Potential at some point must be realized and if it isn't, even the brightest star... fades away.
Listening to the words belted out so passionately by Jennifer Holliday as she played Effie White, often stirs a great deal of emotion within me. After begging and pleading, she finally concludes her argument with a promise: "You're gonna love me".
It's true, we did-- and we still do. But it doesn't change the outcome for the great Jennifer Holliday, scorned Effie White, or my marriage.
I still love my husband, and I have no desire to discontinue that love however, much like the case of Effie and Jennifer... love isn't always enough.
-Dedicated to the man who held fast to my heart for nine years and counting...
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