Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

I've had more terrible dates than I care to share. Who am I kidding? I always share.  This time, I want to start sharing dating experiences of other's that are full of wit and entertainment for all of us kinky thinkers to enjoy. So, if you have a dating story that you believe is worth sharing, send it here  and it may be featured on the next Confessions blog post! We can all use a good laugh on our unfortunate dating experiences. I have shared quite a few of mine right here on my own from guy who we now call 50 Wings , to The Bus Driver.   I have had my share of horrible dates and the best way for me to regroup and move past them is to share them with my kinky following. Hope to read your stories soon! 

The Turner’s Elaine hurriedly grabbed for her tattered black handbag as she exited her 1994 black mustang. She hadn’t washed her hair in about five days and piling her thick black locks high in a bun atop her head wasn’t going to disguise her neglect much longer. She felt the familiar breeze of the air against her backside and routinely hiked up her low rise skinny jeans to cover the inadvertent peepshow her buttocks were giving. Her saddle colored leather jacket looked about as done for as her hair, but that wasn’t something she was willing to change. She head for the school doors taking a brisk stride. Her long legs kicked upward, as if she were practicing her best goose step in some foreign army; likely the consequence of wearing cumbersome motorcycle boots. As she strode toward the principal’s office she sighed and curled the top corner of her upper lip, making no effort to hide her annoyance when she spotted Belinda. Belinda was impeccably dressed as always and returne...

Gwen sat in the hot sun. Her shapely legs were crossed and she wriggled to pull her already too short dress over her ample thighs. Kevin sat across from her, fighting the grin that wanted to overtake his face. He always observed everything she did. Maybe it was a bad habit. "I just don't understand it Kev," Gwen sighed in a peevish tone. "I have talked to, dated, and been in a relationship with at least 20 men over the past three years and I am still sitting here single." Kevin nodded his head compassionately as he sipped his espresso. Gwen gave up on her crossed legs and instead pressed them firmly together while tugging at her dress yet again. She hated being "curvy". She often felt lumpy and wished she were about 15lbs thinner."Maybe it's my size. Maybe men want waifs." she offered.Kevin shook his head and screwed his face as if what she had said was way off the mark. "Well then what is it?! " Gwen moaned in exas...

She was 15, and boy crazy. She had a grown woman's body and a child like mind that willed her to do adult like things. It was an unfortunate combination and nothing good would come of it. He was 18 and chiseled. He often wore his shirt off on the exceptionally hot summer days. He wasn't gorgeous, but he was mature and she took notice. She spent most of her time peering curiously at him while he was bent over the open hood of a car. He may have noticed her inquisitive gaze, but he never suggested it. He continued his work, as if no one were watching. Time pressed on and what seemed like months later was merely weeks. Her mother asked her to knock on his door and request his services. She made sure she looked just right. She wanted him to notice her. She walked over and knocked on the door. He came outside with his shirt off again. She noticed every muscle on his body. She felt a familiar jitter in the pit of her stomach. He was young, but he was a man. He didn't have the l...

"Wow, look at her." the older gentleman swiveled around on his bar stool to gaze longily at the brunette with the visibly fake breasts. "For Christ's sake, she looks like a blow up doll!" the younger man shrieked with forced discretion. Both sat in grey business suits. The older appeared to be a forshadowing of the younger mans future; successful, wealthy, and aggressive. "Women ought to look like blow up dolls then men wouldn't be so lonely." He now took a slow sip of his jack and coke. Every day at 3pm for 35 years he had a jack and coke. It's a wonder his liver hadn't cracked in half by now. "Give me one damned woman thats worth her weight in gold and I'd marry her right now." He mused as he slammed his hand lightly against the table. His wedding band clanged hard against the wooden bar countertop. "You're already married." the younger man said, clearly exasperated. "Don't remind me." the o...

"I love you." She said. She always said that. She said it so much that it made me cringe. It was like pouring too much syrup on your waffles. The sweet taste in small quantities was satisfying, and one slip of the hand and you can have a problem. Not enough waffle to fill your stomach, an abundance of sweet enough to make your stomach ache. Her love was like waffles drowning in syrup. I was the waffle. She was the syrup. I was weakened by her saturation of dramatic exits and appearances in my life. "I really do love you." She said. She was waiting for me to say something. I had reached the point where no answer was the right one unless it was what she wanted to hear. Silence. I had nothing to say. I wasn't going to do what she wanted me to do. I was going to do what I wanted to do for a change. "I guess I should stop loving you then." She was still prodding. Or was she toying with me? She was sopping up some of the syrup and threatening to toss the...

He sat quietly at the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. He wondered how much longer he could endure her. "So you're not gonna' tell , huh?" Her eyes were brimming with tears. There was a time that he would take great care to dam the tears that welled in her eyes and now he had grown tired. He let out a slow groan. "This is bullshit..." He mumbled more to himself than toward her. This sent her in a rage. She sprang from underneath the sheets, her naked body fully exposed. Her once taut backside was riddled with dimples. Her belly ring sunk into her stomach as if it were a secret jewel. He often forgot she had her navel pierced at all. "My feelings are BULLSHIT?!" She raged on. The words that followed didn't matter. He wasn't listening. Instead he began to massage his temples in a rhythmic motion, soothing himself into a trance of indifference. "God, she is loud." He thought to himself. The distant memories of her whi...

She wasn't all that good looking. She was average at best. She didn't put her rouge on like Ella kept telling her too. She didn't see the sense in it, "ain't no colored woman in the world turn red in the face like that, and they lips ain't that pink neither!". That was the way she seen it. There wasn't any point trying to make yourself look like some white woman when you have a face the color of rich soil. She let out a soft chuckle as she tore the husk off each ear of corn. That Ella was one pig sty short of a mess. But she was a good friend, a friend for all times kind of friend. Her smile weakened as her mouth fixed itself back into its familiar pout. Her legs were agape, and her long house dress hung low like a stage curtain. It had been almost a year since he had left. She finally realized he wasn't coming home anytime soon. She felt a tear well up in her eyes and her throat became tight. She clenched her jaw tight and focused harder on ...

" You know I care about you", he whined. He always seemed to whine when he was trying to persuade her. His brown eyes were wild and pleading. She didn't want to. She couldn't put a finger on why she didn't or when she would, but she just didn't. He still kept at it. What was a conversation became a debate. Every sentence said was in the form of an argument. He was stating his case. Why was he so passionate? "I'm not going to go anywhere. You know that." His frustration became apparent. He was annoyed with her for being so indecisive. He was impatient. He didn't want an answer, he wanted "the answer". She began to feel nervous. He did care for her, she knew that ... he isn't going anywhere... she knew that . Why was it so hard to give in? He finally relented with a few cuss words and turned his back to her. She felt like she upset him. Her nurturing instinct told her to make him feel better. She touched his shoulder, be...