You Had Me At... Hello?

Kismet: The will of Allah; destiny.

I don't believe in Allah but like muslims I do believe that my God's will triumphs over my own.
So often I have heard people tell me that they prayed and God told them the answer to their prayers. When things seem to fall apart leaving only financial and/or emotional debris and confusion, one is left wondering if Gods "message" was lost in translation.
So when I married what now seems like the wrong man for me did I hear from God? I thought I was doing the right thing. I even thought that the "signs" were pointing to him. However, it ends up that I was just trying to do the right thing. Did I learn from my failed marriage, absolutely. Could I have done without the pain and drama that came from our union? Definitely. Thing is when I met my soon to be ex-husband, I liked him. We hung out, we had fun, we had a good relationship. He professed his love for me and I decided to fall right there in it with him and we got pregnant soon after. At no time during all of that did I feel the tap of The Almighty on my shoulder or the breath of Jesus as he whispered "Marry that guy" in my ear.
There may have been a time that I felt God did "send a sign". I am not the only self-professed Christian who was always looking for signs and waiting to hear from God. As the years have passed on I believe that all the sign searching is quite similar to astrology and other forms of hocus pocus that I try to steer clear of. Last time I checked, there is an instruction manual for all people who claim Christianity. Its called a Bible. Once you read it, you will find many answers to your questions. So instead of operating on signs, I operate with God given wisdom and faith and the literature he left behind.
My months long courtship evolved into a nine year relationship and a four year marriage. I have been chastised by my older sister long ago about our whirlwind courtship. I was told it was naive of me to dive into something so soon. That may be true. Ironically enough, my sister is knee deep in her own relationship that is all but four months old. To her credit, the man she is with is equally enamored with her as she is with him. Watching them interact and fawn over one another brings me hope for my own future relationship. As I admire them, still a part of me maintains apprehension refusing to trust the longevity of their union. "Its too soon" is a phrase that looms in the back of my mind. Of course I don't want them to fail, there is just a part of me that is biased toward them actually succeeding. (Say it with me folks: "issues").
This poses the question: How soon is too soon when it comes to falling in love with someone?
Perhaps it depends on how receptive you are to love to begin with. Surely a person who is deliberately emotionally unavailable will be far less likely to be receptive to a nip by the love bug. But its also likely that someone who is vulnerable and needy may be far too receptive to a "kismet-like" encounter with the love of their life. In fact anyone who is willing to like them may be upgraded to a level of "love of my life" soon after.
Where is the balance on the scale of emotions?
Is there a realistic time frame as to when someone can begin to feel love toward another person?
What about how it happens? Can you fall in love with some one over telephone? What about emails? One night stands? We are living in an era where technological advances allow us to communicate effortlessly with cell phones, computers and depending on how much money you have to spend, you may have a hybrid of both! Gone are the days of love letters that arrive via snail mail. Welcome to the era on internet dating and casual sex.
Speaking from my own experience, I have made several logical decisions in relationships. I believe now that I chose to love my husband because at the time I believed that his being madly in love with me put me in a position of being adored and therefore less likely to be hurt. I couldn't have been more wrong. I accepted his love, reciprocated it with my own, and ended up emotionally tormented by his repetitive " mishaps"(use your imagination or do your detective work and read some of my other posts to define that word).
While I do believe that he did adore me, his "mishaps" continued throughout the course of our nine year relationship. By choosing to love him I chose to be committed and a part of my wayward thinking was that I was obligated to forgive him for... "mishaps" and also make the foolhearty mistake of tolerating them as well. This all came out of a relationship that took off fast, but fizzled just as fast. We just held on for dear life rather than euthanize the sick relationship we were suffering in. Thankfully we both agree that its time to say good bye.
Maybe getting to know someone over a course of time would allow you to make a more sound decision as to whether or not you should even invest emotion in the relationship.
That sounds common sensical but how many people have that much control over their emotions? If feelings of love sneak up on you how do you keep them at bay? Its not as if we are speaking about an outfit or a pair of shoes that we can hang in our closet waiting for the perfect occasion. Love and logic seldom go hand in hand.
Are people who fall in love quickly reckless and irresponsible with their emotions or in tune with their feelings and just free spirits?