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Sex Sells.... Flowers? *Review of Super Bowl Commericals*

This Super Bowl was very exciting. Me being far from a football fan opted to watch the game solely because I am a New York native and I wanted to support my state team (well the one that actually made it to the superbowl).
Surprisingly, I absolutely enjoyed the game. I loved that the Giants started strong with a 9 point lead. I loved the ferocious come-back of the Patriots led by a very competent and calculated Tom Brady. I was at the edge of my seat as I waited for the Giants to use the last four minutes of the fourth quarter for the win. As much as I taunted Pats fans with "the tenacity of the New Yorker" I admit that even I thought that we were out for the count in those final 4 minutes of the game.
However, there was one thing that I was looking forward to throughout the entire game and it wasn't the players, who with helmets removed resembled athletic gods shrouded in spandex padded pants and nylon jerseys (yummy), or the half-time show. The thing that held my interest was the commercials. Word is that each advertisement cost approxiately 3 million dollars. You read right. To advertise for the Super Bowl you had to have at least 3 million dollars. So anyone who ran an ad was dropping a load of dinero to start with. Lets not imagine what the cost was for a long slot of time.
So with all the monies spent, one would hope that advertisers were able to make the mark and solicit interest and eventually capital from the ads ran during the big game, right? Well here is my take on a few of the commercials. I hope you enjoy reading about them as much as I enjoyed viewing them.

Audi- VAMPIRE COMMERCIAL: The Vamps are out living it up in a camp ground setting reminiscent of a Friday the 13th scene. The bonfire is blazing, the mood is set... all thats missing is the booze or in this unique setting...blood. Enter Capt. Cool who is driving to the party with a box of O+. He finally pulls up to the party and his headlights are so bright that the partying Vamps began to burn. Realizing that he just killed the entire party, he walks out to investigate the scene in disbelief and confusion and disappears into thin air as his own headlights burn him to death, meeting the fate of his friends. The camera then turns to the Audi, advertises the model. END I thought the commerical was hilarious. I couldnt help but imagine a significant portion of the cast of True Blood disappearing. Did I ever say how much I can't stand that show ever since the second season concluded? Oops, guess I just did.

Pepsi- Elton John is a King with a desire for funky glitter platform boots and good music. He was almost like the Pepsi Nazi. If you couldn't perform good music, then no pepsi for you. He even would send you to the dungeon where all of the other rejects went. In comes Melanie Amaro (apparently the winner of the show 'THE X FACTOR' and she sings a riffed out, overdone version of Aretha Franklins "RESPECT". She not only wows the court, but wows King Elton himself and he shrugs and hands her a pepsi. He then says, "alright, pepsi for you". Melanie takes it shakes her head as if to say "no" and then sends Elton to the dungeon. She then says "pepsi for all" and starts tossing cans to the court. Elton gathers himself in the dungeon and looks up only to see who but Flavor Flav himself complete with viking helmet who belts out a "YEAH BOOOOY". END I thought this commerical was kind of lame. Sure, you have Elton John, and then you have the random Flavor Flav. Am I missing something, or was this commercial missing something? I just didnt get it. I suppose it was supposed to just be funny. If thats all they were aiming for it was. However for me it was thoughtless humor lacking wit which really gets me going. Perhaps I was too dense to enjoy the obvious.

M&M- BROWN SHELL- There's a party and there is a new M&M who happens to display the characteristics of a feminist. While she is chatting someone asks her why she is naked and she replies she is not naked but her shell is brown. She goes on to say she would never come to a party naked. She was one damn dignified M&M. In comes in another M&M (not the peanut, the regualar) and he looks at the female M&M and says: "I didn't know it was THAT kind of party" and takes his own shell off and tosses it to the side. Then he begins to gyrate and dance taunting her with his brown nakedness. In a nutshell... HILARIOUS

Coke- Polar Bears: There were at least two for Coke, and none of them were memorable for me. I wasn't impressed however I will admit that Coke must have done something right because I can't see that CGI Polar Bear and not know its a Coke Commercials. Over all : Indifferent to the coke commercial. No agnony, no entertainment.

There are more commericials to comment on, including the David Beckham line of underwear that is being sold by H&M which was the equivalent of soft porn for the lonely divorcee. Also kudo's to Dorito's who had a dog black mail his owner over a missing cat with a bag of Doritos. The owner bought the bribe and it turns out the dog killed his own cat... he just didnt care so long as the Doritos kept coming. I got quite a few giggles off of that. Matthew Broderick making an appearance for Honda was fantastic. It totally made me nostalgic over his days as Beuller.

Some commercials that really missed the mark for me. Budweiser was one of them. Taking us back to the prohibition era was boring as it was pointless. I didnt need a history lesson and I certainly didnt need to lied to that Budweiser was what was pushed around after Prohibition was over. I would easier believe it were Moon Shine and thats probably what the ad execs were sipping on when they have the novel idea of creating that commerical.

TeleFlora had a commercial basically telling men that buying flowers will get them laid. I wish the ad execs at Jared or Zales would have made their only commercial telling men to buy a woman a diamond... because you just don't want to fumble with flowers.

The Chevy Sonic commercials were so stupid I don't want to type what they were about. Google it.

Honorable Mention in the humor department: The ETrade commerical featuring a baby shuffling rapidly down the aisle of a hospitals infant nursery claiming to be speed dating solicited a few hearty chuckles from me.

I hope you enjoyed this brief review. Its not as detailed as I intended but hey, I didnt have to spend 3 million to state my opinon so you get what I didnt pay for. lol

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