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The Time I : Learned The Entrepreneur Life Wasn't For Me


I lived most of my adult life believing I was meant to work for myself. I started off selling Avon. I would hustle my catalog to my colleagues at the investment firm I worked in and fill orders. I was building a decent client base and was receiving a small profit, however, I spent more than I earned to remain active as a distributor. Strangers had their own distributors and didn't want to purchase from me. I got tired of hitting up my clients for more sales and giving away trinkets with each purchase was dipping into my profits. Parties dwindled after the first one. Avon wasn't turning out to be the escape I needed from Corporate America.
Fast forward to Arbonne. I was a beauty consultant or whatever we were called and I hosted a successful party along with developing a business selling gift baskets to peoples wives for holidays and birthdays. Again, I was obligated to have a base amount of sales so during slow months, I cut into my meager profit to meet the amount needed to maintain my status as a distributor. Eventually, I lost motivation and quit.
After the Arbonne experience, I dabbled in other things until I began to try my hand at entrepreneurship. I wanted to open a small business. I tried all sorts of things from digital marketing to life coaching and while I had some success in each business and made back the cash initially invested and then some, I wasn't replacing a full-time salary in the corporate world. This led to a cycle of taking dirt cheap contracts and marking down products for the sake of a sale. I eventually realized that I don't have the time to build a business. I was a single parent with college tuition looming in the distance and I couldn't afford to ride my dreams until they took me to my final destination that was a reality.
When I became a life coach, I was enthusiastic and truly felt that I could eventually build a profitable career doing what I have done for years, giving people the opportunity to find their way through life's hardships. I wanted to help stuck people get unstuck. My passion was palpable. There was no denying that I was doing something I enjoyed and was good at, however, in time my confidence waned. Building business is difficult and everyone wants something for absolutely nothing. It takes a long time to build a brand that people don't question your offerings and just make the purchase. I didn't have that kind of time or patience. Despite my certification, website, social media channels, and supporters, I quit.
It's not that I am a quitter. I'm just a realist. When I see that something isn't working, I either work it harder or work something else. This time around, I had to take a look at all of the things I had done both successfully and unsuccessfully and make a decision. Did I want to pay estimated taxes? Did I want to create an LLC? Did I want to do a full accounting of all of my expenses, profit, and loss? Did I want to do my own marketing or pay someone else? How far was I willing to go to get my business off the ground while managing a household of three people and maintaining a full-time job? The answer was not very far at all. The practical side of me just knew that I wasn't going to be able to achieve my ultimate goal. Managing everything wasn't an issue, however, bringing it to another level was. There was no point in just surviving. I wanted to live!
A medical diagnosis put me completely out of commission for all of my plans. I knew that I had to eliminate stress and juggling all that I did would aggravate the very issues I was attempting to treat. So I decided to just let it all go. Be regular. I used to scoff at people who chose to do the nine to five grind. I pitied those that put more trust into their employees than they did themselves. Now, I get it. There is a certain comfort with just going with the flow. The life of the entrepreneur is a difficult one and a battle I choose not to fight. But- just because I dropped out of the fight, doesn't mean I didn't win. I have a great job and my health and that's more than enough for me.


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