There was a time that I always knew when a man was interested in me. Perhaps I was just so cocky I believed EVERY man was interested in me. Gone are the days of me believing that every man that sees me and suddenly hears a heavy bass
playing with a robust woman belting out "I got to have it!". These days its quite the opposite. I am Captain Clueless and I welcome many to my ship to commence my voyage to the Land of Ignoramia where no one (especially me) knows anything.
To give you an idea of how oblivious I have become to men being interested in me here are a few examples of my clueless behavior:
Scenario one: Guy has been calling me and texting me and emailing me for over a year asking me to go on a date. We went on a few. Finally during a night of chatting in a diner I say: "Why do you keep calling me and asking me out all the time?" He says: "Ummmmm...because I like you?" At this point he had the wth face on because he didn't know if there was a magic answer that I was seeking. So while he was stating what he believed to be fact, I caused nothing but insecurity on his part so be began to question himself! Oops.
Scenario two: Guy wants to talk to me on the phone a lot. We laugh. He mentions meeting up. I say:"You want to hang out?" Oh no folks, please know that my tone wasn't flirtatious. It wasn't enthusiastic. I posed this question as if he asked me to go booger picking. He says: "Yeahhhh, I want to hang out with you!" His voice took on the playful I'm -so-sorry-you're-a-clueless-ass tone.
And now folks for Scenario Three: I've known of the dude damn near a decade. We became good friends at least two years ago. We have flirted the entire two years. Things finally are getting pretty hot and heavy in the flirting department and BAM... I get a poem. Well I text my BFF: "I think he likes me". Oh no... that's not the best part Wait for it......
This isn't the first poem. This isn't the first time flirting. This isn't the first time he has expressed a desire to spend time. BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE REALIZED THAT HE LIKES ME. What the heck is my problem?
Too much humble pie the past few years? I dont know.
What I do know is that when someone takes a liking to you, it means just that. It doesn't mean that there is the obligation of anything more. It doesn't mean there is a need for a discussion to define the depth of "like". It doesn't mean there are certain things one must do to own the right to feel the emotion. It doesn't mean there is a deadline to transform the like into to something more. Don't assign rules to the "like"! I know too many women who say :" girl if he REALLY liked you he would.." that's nonsense! No two people "like the same way". I am sure that the men I totally discouraged in the past believed I didn't like them just because of my reaction to the way they expressed their admiration of me. It wasn't true. I did like them, probably not to the same degree but I did. I just didn't express it the same way because lets be honest folks, I have some kinks in my thinking. Its not just the name of my blog here... its a warning.
Liking someone doesn't mean any more than exactly what has been expressed. You like the person or the person likes you. So enjoy it, don't question it and don't make plans for it.
So as for me, I have recently discovered (after two years) that this guy actually likes me and I like him too. Now
honestly, what more do I really need to know? Nothing...! So, call me Captain Curious because I plan to invite him on my ship so we can set sail to explore the possibilities... oh and I plan to make several stops along the way! Sounds like a win-win situation to me! (Oh, and I like it!)
I was lying in bed when I heard the familiar chime of an incoming text. Opening one eye, I opened the message to see two letters: GM. Still, in the stupor that slumber often puts you in, I scanned my brain to register the meaning...ah yes...Good Morning. I clumsily keyed in "Hey" and hit the send button. I kept my face deep in my pillow listening for another chime. Nothing. I switched my phone into silent mode and caught another hour of sleep before waking up again. This is a typical day in the life of a serial texter. I text a lot. I text because it's free (on my cell plan). I text because it's convenient. I text because it's a great way to have a conversation without actually having a conversation. But what happens when you actually WANT to speak to the other person with whom you are texting? How do you break the pattern? After months of texting, a phone call may prove to be awkward and break the momentum you built through texting! This has happened
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