We were taking the clothes out of the dryer again. She used to let me help because I liked to. As she stooped to retrieve our garments, she resembled a wilting flower. She was beautiful but she was beginning to droop a bit, no longer the robust mother I remembered. I couldn't remember when exactly she began to look so weathered.
"You going to help me or not?" She clucked sharply. She didn't yell as much as she used to. She just liked to remind me she can.
While folding the clothes, I glanced toward the paintings on the wall. She followed my eyes and quickly returned to her task. Her brow was furrowed, she just wanted to do the laundry.
"Mommy, you ever going to paint again?" I asked.
"I don't know. ...No time." She mumbled as she looked longingly at her artwork displayed on our wall.
This time she stopped folding. She didn't want to fold anymore. She wanted to look at her pictures. Pictures of regal women, tropical paradises, and tranquil streams. I looked at her. My mother, the wilting flower.
She looked at me and smiled. I didn't know at the time that that was the smile you got when someone admits defeat. That was the smile you get when you know you had a season and it was over.It was the grin of resignation. She knew she was never going to paint again. She knew she was a wilting flower. At the time I didn't know. I knew she wasn't the same, but I didn't know she was different. I never knew she gave up, because she never gave up on me. As a child you only pay attention to the love and care you need.
When you're a child, mother's can't wilt...but they do.
Dreamgirls was a successful Broadway play for years. It even made it's way to the big screen in 2006. Original headliners of the staged version included then little known Loretta Divine and now long forgotten Jennifer Holliday. Watching the performance of the then robust and popular Holliday allowed me to witness her successful portrayal of the scorned character Effie White. In a passionate performance she screamed, sobbed and belted the lyrics of "And I Am Telling You, I'm Not Going" in such a way that years later many have made a valiant effort to match her vocal bravado in singing the same song. Of those attempts, most have fallen far from the mark. With this knowledge, I wondered why was it that Jennifer Hollidays career didn't move much further beyond her Dreamgirls fame. Upon doing a bit of google research ( not the most reliable, but definitely the most convenient) I have found several theories as to why Jennifer Holiday's career came to a standstill...
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