Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Today at work, a man was leaving the building and told me "stay beautiful". Usually, when a man says that I assume he is giving me a compliment but today I took it another way. After a break up, a break down, and a build up in progress, "stay beautiful" means so much more to me. A bad romance can kill your confidence. Weight gain can kill your self esteem. Working long hours can kill your social life. Here I was, a complete mess. I felt  ugly and if my outside reflected what I felt within, I looked ugly too. Then, he told me to stay beautiful and it all suddenly made sense. Staying beautiful isn't just a compliment a man or woman casually tosses your way. It's an action. Staying power isn't easy. We often see celebrities, whose foundation of fame and fortune often started off with a "look" long before it ended with talent (if at all). That's when the plastic surgery commences. We see the nips and tucks and eventually the disfigured faces...

I didn't know I was a side chick. It all kind of just, well happened. I have pointed many a finger at women who were Mistresses by choice and called them all sorts of terrible names to shame them for aiding a man in infidelity. Then I became the mistress. What was the lesson? Well when someone says they are separated, it means they are married. I wasn't your typical Mistress. I wasn't a spoiled chick with  my own credit card and exotic weekend trips. Nope, I was just relief. I was a welcomed change to a troubled marriage.  photo courtesy of www.xclusivetouch.co.uk He was separated. He had been separated from her for 4 years, had no interest in reconciliation, and was interested in me. My red flag started to rise a bit when he said 4 years. Who is separated for 4 years? Why not divorce? Did she up and move to another country? What the hell? He said that they just never bothered to but he needs to get around to it (ya think?!). Time went on and I got more and more...

photo courtesy of www.pinterest.com I've had a few people tell me they love me. Some would say they were in love and others would say that they just loved me. Sometimes, I could happily respond with my own profession of adoration and other times I have to smile and say "well I can't wait to love you too." I mean, what are you to say when someone verbalizes the ultimate emotion for you and you don't feel the same? Recently I met a guy. I even blogged about him before commenting on how he is a flaky guy and I have no idea where things will end up. Well this guy said he loves me. It's funny because I was happy to respond with the same sentiment. Then the bull$@#% started. This man has the motivation of a sloth on Mary Jane..with a bum knee...and arthritis. You get the point. So when you both love each other, it's nothing but smooth sailing, right? WRONG. Sure, every couple will experience tribulation within a relationship. However, when you have the l...