He Loves Me. He Loves Me? Not!

I've had a few people tell me they love me. Some would say they were in love and others would say that they just loved me. Sometimes, I could happily respond with my own profession of adoration and other times I have to smile and say "well I can't wait to love you too." I mean, what are you to say when someone verbalizes the ultimate emotion for you and you don't feel the same?
Recently I met a guy. I even blogged about him before commenting on how he is a flaky guy and I have no idea where things will end up. Well this guy said he loves me. It's funny because I was happy to respond with the same sentiment. Then the bull$@#% started. This man has the motivation of a sloth on Mary Jane..with a bum knee...and arthritis. You get the point.
So when you both love each other, it's nothing but smooth sailing, right? WRONG.
Sure, every couple will experience tribulation within a relationship. However, when you have the love thing down, it is usually the iron clad argument you can fall on when faced with the notion of leaving the relationship. Many people have justified staying in a relationship because of the most simple of reasons: I love him. I love her, them (big up to the poly-amorous community) , whatever floats your boat that's what you say when you want to stay in a relationship. For some reason, no matter how absurd your relationship may seem people suddenly nod emphatically and back off.
But back to Sloth Man: He dropped the word on me and I was cool with it. I was already there so it was a moment of relief to know that I wasn't alone in that, or so I thought.
Ladies, gentlemen I have to tell you that there are just certain things I refuse to believe love does.
The more and more time went by, I became more and more baffled at the lack of progression within our relationship. The only thing that continued to grow were my feelings but aside from that, we were stagnant. Things could have moved along. We could have grown in our relationship but he was not ambitious in making any changes within his life to facilitate the possibility of growth. He would tell me that he would love for us to move forward and then sit on his arse and expect things to spontaneously take off.
I would sit in the relationship like an angry passenger who's frustrated with the clueless driver. God. That sentence was more accurate than I care to admit. So we moved no where and each time I would try to walk away, I wouldn't do so completely and he would have me back where I was; standing beside him instead of moving and walking toward a better situation. It went back and forth like this for just about 6 months until I requested he not come around at all. I realized the habit of being with him and not being with him wasn't taking us any place unless going around in circles is enough movement for you.
Telling him I didn't want to see him at all was difficult. I would like to see him, but moving through life with me rather than watching it past me by alongside him. There's a lot more to this story but I don't care to share it detail. The wounds are still fresh on this one folks.
Love is a force. It motivates people to have intense passion. I don't care if the love is for an object, person, political view, or a damned holiday, where there is love: there is motivation and passion. I've never thought of love as being indifferent, or complacent. So if someone were to ask me if I believed he loved me, I would say 'no.' Like I said before, there are certain things love just doesn't do and stifle you with undue pain is one of them. Guess what will do that though? Selfishness.
Again, there are things that love just won't do. I don't need to list them. You will have a moment (hopefully not) in your relationship where whatever it is that you are feeling from your partner suddenly just doesn't
fee like love anymore. And once that happens, you will know what you need to do, even if you don't want to do it.

Sign Of The Times: Case of The Serial Texter

I was lying in bed when I heard the familiar chime of an incoming text. Opening one eye, I opened the message to see two letters: GM. Still, in the stupor that slumber often puts you in, I scanned my brain to register the meaning...ah yes...Good Morning. I clumsily keyed in "Hey" and hit the send button. I kept my face deep in my pillow listening for another chime. Nothing. I switched my phone into silent mode and caught another hour of sleep before waking up again. This is a typical day in the life of a serial texter. I text a lot. I text because it's free (on my cell plan). I text because it's convenient. I text because it's a great way to have a conversation without actually having a conversation. But what happens when you actually WANT to speak to the other person with whom you are texting? How do you break the pattern? After months of texting, a phone call may prove to be awkward and break the momentum you built through texting! This has happened

A Love Story

Sometimes he looked at me the way I had always wanted to be looked at. His eyes would fill with a wonder as if I was a beautiful creature he never knew existed. I would often pretend I didn't notice, because I liked to be admired a bit longer. I knew he would break his gaze if I acknowledged it. So I sat and made my best effort to remain natural, refusing to ruin the moment with unnecessary interruption. Other times, I would intentionally turn toward him. I would return his gaze and admire every curve of his face. I would notice the perceived flaws and want to kiss them all. My lips would travel across the map of his face, landing on every location of interest. He would laugh, and distract my lips from their unplanned journey by planting his against my own- keeping them in the destination he chose. I was alway obedient to what he wanted. Knowing that he wanted me was enough and so I did as he directed and I enjoyed heeding his unsaid instructions. I knew when he didn't wa

The Real Thing Relationships/Dating

I love Marvin Gaye. I love how he croons along with Tammi Terrell about having the "Real Thing". If you have followed my blog over the years, you have seen me get separated, divorced, and hit the dating scene. Its been a long road. There was a time that I was dating just to get my feet wet. I just wanted to get into the habit of conversing and entertaining men in a way that I hadn't due to the confines of marriage. I just wanted to be single again. Eventually I came to want more. I wanted to have something...real. I am not a traditional woman. If I didn't have children I would likely never be married and I would be totally fine with living in a separate home from my significant other and connecting when we wanted to connect and maintaining space all other times. However, I have children...and my lifestyle preferences are not a priority. I am more interested in setting an example and foundation for my girls. So here I am, dating with a purpose. I have been on POF,

Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

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