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Confessions Of A Clueless Dater....

I haven't even begun to take the plunge into the world of dating and I am already disgruntled and discouraged. Apparently the men I am interested in are never interested in me. The men I am never interested in seem to flock toward me. It's a very frustrating dilemma to say the least. Realizing that I am now 30 years old, semi-single ( divorce set to take place this summer [insert fist pumping here] ), a mother of two, moderately attractive, and lonely only leads me to believe that I should start socializing and seek the companionship of a man. Well, that's not as easy as it sounds. See, I have a knack for attracting the most unsavory characters that can be best described as uncanny.
Take Leroy, the southern gentleman who refused to speak to me on the phone and would only text. He had big plans for us. He wanted us to develop an exclusive relationship through LOL's and smiley faces. That didn't work out.
Recently I was introduced to Desmond. He's another southerner but I wouldn't attach gentleman to his description. Apparently after about a week of conversation he's interested in a marriage proposal. No, he's not love struck. He's under the impression I'm dumb struck. I asked him what he was looking for and his response was me. I asked him what he wanted and that's when he mentioned putting a ring on my finger. It was at the moment I wanted to stick my finger in my ear and try to gag the BS my brain just processed. My conversations with Desmond consist of a series of BS professions, basketball metaphors, and "I'll call you right backs" all tied together with a bow of "baby". I've been babied to death. He says the work baby more than you or I say hello, goodbye or even "the". I'm not sure if it's some rite of passage for men in their forties to utilize and overindulge the use of the word but I do know that when speaking with him I can't get the image of Goldie out of my mind.
Oh- and if you didn't read about my plagiarized valentines day e-card just scroll through Februarys postings. That one was so outrageous I had to address it in the form of poetry.
So, here I am. Still married, still single, still hopeful but very discouraged.
I suppose the best thing I can do is close the door and see who comes a-knocking' because obviously everyone can't make it to the dinner table.
Wish me luck!

Comments

  1. Girl dating is for the birds...it's so frikkin hard. I guess that's why I go months without even a lil fling cuz I don't have the patience for their BS. I've had a guy tell me he wants me to have his baby while chatting in a club I'm like MF u don't even know me...SMH. SOOOO GROSS. Good luck doll face :)

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