Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Well, I am a little more than half way done with my 30 day shred. I will not lie and say its been easy. Although I love that its only 20 minutes and I dont have to set aside a ton of time to get an intense workout, there are times its tough to squeeze in. If I spend the night someplace and I dont have the DVD, I miss a workout. If I see my "special guy" I already know there will be no workout because chances are I am getting into the bed with just enough time to get a few hours before work the following day. However, when I do miss a day I double up on the workout so I can catch up. Workout 1 was really hard when I first started but now I do it immediately after workout 2 sometimes just so I can feel like I am really pushing myself. Workout 2... I dont like it. There are some exercises that are darn near impossible to do and I find myself just watching Jillian do it because my body has resigned itself to a super "hell no". The toughest thing to overcome in workout ...

So its no surprise if you follow this blog that I have been on a dating crusade. I have experienced all sorts of interesting (and not so interesting) people over the past two years. It has been quite a ride. I have met so many men that I got to the point I decided to take a dating hiatus and just sit by myself for awhile and recuperate before diving back into the madness that is dating. Then he came along... Funny thing about him, we met about two years ago. I had been separated for about five or six months and he was about three months into his separation. We both related to one another on the sadness and anger that comes along with the conclusion of marriage. I didn't think he was ready for me. He spoke about his wife a bit more than I cared for and the wounds were a bit too fresh. I on the other hand was still in my beginning phases of moving and however I had already thrown myself to the lions and entered the dating game. I joined a website called Single Parents Meet and met ...

This is going to be brief: I hurt today. My abs hurt, my thighs hurt, the muscles in my back hurt... hell, my underarms hurt. Doing the workout today is going to be hellacious. I have thought of taking a break to heal from this sore feeling but I think I will just do extra stretching on my own before I start. Raisin bran for breakfast, curry chicken and cauliflower for lunch, cottage cheese and strawberries for snack. I wont be doing my work out until way later in the evening if I even make it back home as I have some child care issues to attend to on the other side of town and it may make more sense for me to just stay there... either way, I will be working out today and I will be hating every moment of it. I have a newfound respect for thin people who actually have to put in the work to stay that way. its not easy and I now understand the disgust they have toward fat people who complain about their stature and do nothing to improve it. If you love yourself as is, thats great. If...

So I had finally grown tired of living life but not living the one I wanted to live, and exisiting within a body that didn't truly represent how I felt on the inside. I tried to diet and lose weight many times but I always wanted to jump on the fad bandwagon. Some time ago I did a fast from many things and of all the things I gave up, I managed to boot alcohol from my diet. I still imbibe on occasion however I don't drink glasses of wine daily nor do I have a full bar in my pantry anymore. Gone are the days that I can outdrink men, now I am on a two glass maximum. Yesterday, after a brief annoyance with a man I was once interested in I decided to focus on myself as dealing with others brings far more emotion, conflict and thought to my plate than I care to consume. Realizing this, I mentally cut off all of the men that were teetering back and forth on my see-saw of love and loathing. I considered a mass deletion from my cell phone but my BFF told me I had enough self control ...

The candy man is smooth talking He need not run to catch up with you, he's just walking With a trained glide in his gait that makes you want to slow down, so he can keep with your pace. The candy man says all the right things that make you want to make every wrong decision Because you're not looking at his ways, you're just allowing your ears to listen. He says things that make you giggle and turn your face bright shades of crimson He has faster and faster become the master of your silly fantasy Of he and you as one But he's just...having fun, that candy man Because the candy man can because you make him feel good You feed but you never read into his true intentions You sponge up his lies with your bullshit retention Never paying attention to what he does Because words and actions ought to correspond Love is a word and an action, act now or I'm gone. The sweet talking candy man ...he does it because he knows he can. Don't you dare listen and t...

"Wow, look at her." the older gentleman swiveled around on his bar stool to gaze longily at the brunette with the visibly fake breasts. "For Christ's sake, she looks like a blow up doll!" the younger man shrieked with forced discretion. Both sat in grey business suits. The older appeared to be a forshadowing of the younger mans future; successful, wealthy, and aggressive. "Women ought to look like blow up dolls then men wouldn't be so lonely." He now took a slow sip of his jack and coke. Every day at 3pm for 35 years he had a jack and coke. It's a wonder his liver hadn't cracked in half by now. "Give me one damned woman thats worth her weight in gold and I'd marry her right now." He mused as he slammed his hand lightly against the table. His wedding band clanged hard against the wooden bar countertop. "You're already married." the younger man said, clearly exasperated. "Don't remind me." the o...