So its no surprise if you follow this blog that I have been on a dating crusade. I have experienced all sorts of interesting (and not so interesting) people over the past two years. It has been quite a ride. I have met so many men that I got to the point I decided to take a dating hiatus and just sit by myself for awhile and recuperate before diving back into the madness that is dating.
Then he came along...
Funny thing about him, we met about two years ago. I had been separated for about five or six months and he was about three months into his separation. We both related to one another on the sadness and anger that comes along with the conclusion of marriage. I didn't think he was ready for me. He spoke about his wife a bit more than I cared for and the wounds were a bit too fresh. I on the other hand was still in my beginning phases of moving and however I had already thrown myself to the lions and entered the dating game. I joined a website called Single Parents Meet and met a slew of characters. He was probably the only normal person I encountered who was actually a single parent, not a guy with kids (I'm sorry but its just not the same thing!).
In Abby fashion, I fell back and just faded away. About a year later, he emailed me and sent his picture. I remembered him but I also remembered how he seemed to be in the early stages of his healing process and responded... with apprehension but responded nonetheless. He told me how he never forgot about me because I told him he should go back to his wife and try to fight for his marriage. He said he tried but she sank deeper into douchebaggery and he finally let her go. It was sad to hear as I dont take joy in broken marriages. We began to email and he sent me his number. I called him. We spoke for a bit. We confided in each other periodically. We shared our single parent successes , woes and failures. We provided insight for one another. We established a friendship.
Time passed on and he mentioned that he would like for us to give dating another shot. I had some hang ups about him and I shut it down. See, I had this list of things that I was looking for and a list of things that determined character and there was a decision he made in his past that made me question his character. So, I politely declined. Eventually he asked me if his past was the reason I opted against dating him and I confirmed that it was the reason. He gave me a mini rant in the form of a text and I chose to seek the advice of my friends to see if I was being unreasonable. They all supported me, minus my BFF who said that he made mistakes at a young age and shouldn't be punished for it.
After dating someone who I really liked and thought I would still be dating but never even text anymore, I decided to quit dating. I was tired of meeting people that I couldnt go anywhere with and then meeting someone that seemed to have potential and then fell flat at the drop of a hat (hey that rhymed). He made a remark about me dating all these men who don't add up to anything more than an experience to blog about and I took his point into consideration and told him that he is going to be the last man I date before my extended leave of abstinence (I'm not ignorant, just a play on words).
So we had dinner, we watched a movie, we called it quits. Since then, we began speaking every morning, throughout the day and each evening. Now I know that once we get used to each other this type of correspondence will evolve into maybe two calls a day but the bottom line is, he's good. He's good to his family, he's good to me, he's just...good.
Typically, I am a skeptic wearing the mask of a realist but when it comes to him, I have a hope that I haven't had in a long time. In my last dating relationship/friendship thingy I enjoyed the guy, I really liked the guy, and I desired the guy, but I didn't have high hopes for the guy. I just decided to wait and see what would come of it.
Enter the new guy: caring, considerate, affectionate, thoughtful, spiritual, grounded, assertive, and so much more. Did I mention he can cook?! So, if we don't progress into anything serious its wonderful to know that this breed of man exists. I love it, and I like him... a lot. I actually took off my armor and am wearing naked hope. I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable.
So how did I come to the title of my blog?
Well, I thought of all the things I have done, all the men I have done (the men I let do me... come on now, we are adults here) and while I typically do what I want to do... I can't say its always right. Lately with all of the decisions I have been making, things seem to be falling into place in a way and order that hadn't existed in my life before. So yes, I am "doing" like I always have, but now I finally feel like I am doing the right thing.
Then he came along...
Funny thing about him, we met about two years ago. I had been separated for about five or six months and he was about three months into his separation. We both related to one another on the sadness and anger that comes along with the conclusion of marriage. I didn't think he was ready for me. He spoke about his wife a bit more than I cared for and the wounds were a bit too fresh. I on the other hand was still in my beginning phases of moving and however I had already thrown myself to the lions and entered the dating game. I joined a website called Single Parents Meet and met a slew of characters. He was probably the only normal person I encountered who was actually a single parent, not a guy with kids (I'm sorry but its just not the same thing!).
In Abby fashion, I fell back and just faded away. About a year later, he emailed me and sent his picture. I remembered him but I also remembered how he seemed to be in the early stages of his healing process and responded... with apprehension but responded nonetheless. He told me how he never forgot about me because I told him he should go back to his wife and try to fight for his marriage. He said he tried but she sank deeper into douchebaggery and he finally let her go. It was sad to hear as I dont take joy in broken marriages. We began to email and he sent me his number. I called him. We spoke for a bit. We confided in each other periodically. We shared our single parent successes , woes and failures. We provided insight for one another. We established a friendship.
Time passed on and he mentioned that he would like for us to give dating another shot. I had some hang ups about him and I shut it down. See, I had this list of things that I was looking for and a list of things that determined character and there was a decision he made in his past that made me question his character. So, I politely declined. Eventually he asked me if his past was the reason I opted against dating him and I confirmed that it was the reason. He gave me a mini rant in the form of a text and I chose to seek the advice of my friends to see if I was being unreasonable. They all supported me, minus my BFF who said that he made mistakes at a young age and shouldn't be punished for it.
After dating someone who I really liked and thought I would still be dating but never even text anymore, I decided to quit dating. I was tired of meeting people that I couldnt go anywhere with and then meeting someone that seemed to have potential and then fell flat at the drop of a hat (hey that rhymed). He made a remark about me dating all these men who don't add up to anything more than an experience to blog about and I took his point into consideration and told him that he is going to be the last man I date before my extended leave of abstinence (I'm not ignorant, just a play on words).
So we had dinner, we watched a movie, we called it quits. Since then, we began speaking every morning, throughout the day and each evening. Now I know that once we get used to each other this type of correspondence will evolve into maybe two calls a day but the bottom line is, he's good. He's good to his family, he's good to me, he's just...good.
Typically, I am a skeptic wearing the mask of a realist but when it comes to him, I have a hope that I haven't had in a long time. In my last dating relationship/friendship thingy I enjoyed the guy, I really liked the guy, and I desired the guy, but I didn't have high hopes for the guy. I just decided to wait and see what would come of it.
Enter the new guy: caring, considerate, affectionate, thoughtful, spiritual, grounded, assertive, and so much more. Did I mention he can cook?! So, if we don't progress into anything serious its wonderful to know that this breed of man exists. I love it, and I like him... a lot. I actually took off my armor and am wearing naked hope. I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable.
So how did I come to the title of my blog?
Well, I thought of all the things I have done, all the men I have done (the men I let do me... come on now, we are adults here) and while I typically do what I want to do... I can't say its always right. Lately with all of the decisions I have been making, things seem to be falling into place in a way and order that hadn't existed in my life before. So yes, I am "doing" like I always have, but now I finally feel like I am doing the right thing.
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