Skip to main content

What A Man, What A Man, What A Mighty Good Man...

I was born in the 80's. So being an 80's baby I am a total lover of 90's music. Anything from the late 80's to the late 90's is my kind of music. Growing up, one of my favorite girl groups was Salt and Peppa. Their career spanned into the 90's and they came out with a song called "Whatta Man" (please don't ask me why they spelled it this way. It was the early 90's for Pete's sake... it was a world of bamboo earring and asymetrical hair do's).

In this song the women are raving about the men that drive them wild. These men are honored for various reasons. In one verse, a man is praised for being a ho on the down low and being so engaging and silly that he makes his woman want to birth his children... this translates much better in lyric form. Another verse praises a man for a beautiful body and a face to go with it. He gives his woman gifts and is very intelligent.... getting warmer. The other two verses pretty much sum up a man that knows his way around a womans body. Lets just say that he's a "pleaser".... the descriptions are starting sound like something I can relate to.

Being a single-minded woman ( I have an ongoing struggle with the realization that I am legally married, legally separted but emotionally single) I often reflect on what failed in my relationship. I have figured out what I don't want in a man, but I am not sure what I do want. Salt and Peppa really seemed to have it down, and here I am confused and uncertain. Is a partner who can make your toes curl straight off the ball of your foot when you're making love the one for you? Or is sexual compatibility a plus, but not a requirment? I can certainly say of my past relationship that I am VERY spoiled in the sex department. I don't think I would tolerate certain things. At the same time, a man that cheats but is discreet... nah! I know that some women are okay with open relationships, however I don't understand the purpose of a relationship when its open. Why not date indefinitely?

Whatever the case, when I listen to Salt and Peppa praising men for having all the things that they appreciated and desired I realized that it is high time that I figure out what I want in a man and work on myself so that I put myself in a better position of finding that man. What do you look for in a man? Or, have you been blessed to quit looking?

However, the one thing that I will say is there isn't a man crazy enough, to make me want to have his baby. Those days are over.

Comments

  1. Im not looking for Mr. Right hopefully will come to me. The person that I would like to be with has the potential but not the mind set. I'm still young and this whole dating thing is really just starting for me...so well see...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think Danielle has already found her Mr. Right! LOL...Just looking back and reflecting. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sign Of The Times: Case of The Serial Texter

I was lying in bed when I heard the familiar chime of an incoming text. Opening one eye, I opened the message to see two letters: GM. Still, in the stupor that slumber often puts you in, I scanned my brain to register the meaning...ah yes...Good Morning. I clumsily keyed in "Hey" and hit the send button. I kept my face deep in my pillow listening for another chime. Nothing. I switched my phone into silent mode and caught another hour of sleep before waking up again. This is a typical day in the life of a serial texter. I text a lot. I text because it's free (on my cell plan). I text because it's convenient. I text because it's a great way to have a conversation without actually having a conversation. But what happens when you actually WANT to speak to the other person with whom you are texting? How do you break the pattern? After months of texting, a phone call may prove to be awkward and break the momentum you built through texting! This has happened

A Love Story

Sometimes he looked at me the way I had always wanted to be looked at. His eyes would fill with a wonder as if I was a beautiful creature he never knew existed. I would often pretend I didn't notice, because I liked to be admired a bit longer. I knew he would break his gaze if I acknowledged it. So I sat and made my best effort to remain natural, refusing to ruin the moment with unnecessary interruption. Other times, I would intentionally turn toward him. I would return his gaze and admire every curve of his face. I would notice the perceived flaws and want to kiss them all. My lips would travel across the map of his face, landing on every location of interest. He would laugh, and distract my lips from their unplanned journey by planting his against my own- keeping them in the destination he chose. I was alway obedient to what he wanted. Knowing that he wanted me was enough and so I did as he directed and I enjoyed heeding his unsaid instructions. I knew when he didn't wa

The Real Thing *Relationships/Dating*

I love Marvin Gaye. I love how he croons along with Tammi Terrell about having the "Real Thing". If you have followed my blog over the years, you have seen me get separated, divorced, and hit the dating scene. Its been a long road. There was a time that I was dating just to get my feet wet. I just wanted to get into the habit of conversing and entertaining men in a way that I hadn't due to the confines of marriage. I just wanted to be single again. Eventually I came to want more. I wanted to have something...real. I am not a traditional woman. If I didn't have children I would likely never be married and I would be totally fine with living in a separate home from my significant other and connecting when we wanted to connect and maintaining space all other times. However, I have children...and my lifestyle preferences are not a priority. I am more interested in setting an example and foundation for my girls. So here I am, dating with a purpose. I have been on POF,