Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

I went to Target  and was standing in line watching a woman with a $200+ dollar balance whittle it down to nothing with coupons and gift cards. By the time she was done she had a zero balance. As he scanned the gift cards, she stood with her eyes fixed in a hawk eyed gaze at the register's price display. With each scan, a faint smirk would reach the corners of her mouth and the outrageous sum would diminish steadily. I turned to my mother whose mouth was literally hanging open. You see, my mother prides herself in getting outrageous deals so seeing this Target Coupon Goddess make over $200 in purchases disappear before our eyes was like cat nip to my mom. She was in awe. I rolled my eyes. Partially due to authentic hating and also because I'm impatient and all of those coupons were driving me up a wall. Incapable of utilizing a filter, I asked the Coupon Goddess if she were an extreme coupon enthusiast and she nodded yes in a condescending couponier than thou sort of way. My...

I've had more terrible dates than I care to share. Who am I kidding? I always share.  This time, I want to start sharing dating experiences of other's that are full of wit and entertainment for all of us kinky thinkers to enjoy. So, if you have a dating story that you believe is worth sharing, send it here  and it may be featured on the next Confessions blog post! We can all use a good laugh on our unfortunate dating experiences. I have shared quite a few of mine right here on my own from guy who we now call 50 Wings , to The Bus Driver.   I have had my share of horrible dates and the best way for me to regroup and move past them is to share them with my kinky following. Hope to read your stories soon! 

Social media is a fantastic way to market your business without spending a fortune. With the implementation of ad campaigns on sites like Twitter, Facebook, and more recently Linkedin even the smallest startup can throw their hat in the ring and try to get sales. I too decided to utilize this method when I started my business, Estwick Marketing . What I didn't know was that while social media can be a fantastic marketing tool, it can also have minimal yield if done incorrectly. A friend once told me that the path to success was paved with mistakes. He didn't actually word it that way but that was the gist of what he was saying. Anyhow, you have to learn what not to do before you learn what you need to do. Here are the top three things I learned along the way while marketing my startup on social media: Do your research: Find out where other businesses that are similar to yours are posting. If it's working for them, it will likely work for you. You won't be able t...

I had a tumultuous 9 year relationship. We were on again and off again but we were on more times than we were off. Each time we parted ways, it was always for the same reasons. Finally I legally severed my ties with that person and I was able to move on with my life. Eventually I met another man and he was a good man with a lot of heartache. Looking back, I can admit that I had some heartache of my own. He and I also created a cycle of breaking up and making up as well. However, his offenses were far less major than those of my ex husband. Hardened however by the issues of the past, I didn't give the new guy much of a chance before I ran for my life and ended things. When breaking up, you should always have a definitive reason for your departure from the relationship. If you know why you are leaving you can state the issues factually and acknowledge that without change, you couldn't continue within the relationship. If you make up, the decision should be logical. Don...

Listen, or in this case, read: Being single doesn't always feel easy. The couple giving PDA shamelessly boasting their love for each other and passionate sex life can make a single person suddenly become quite conscious of their status. Social media is no help either. People post selfies with their significant other and create a parallel universe where every relationship is actually a happy one ( I opt not to believe the hype).  So why should you be happy to be single? Check out the reasons:  1. Dating is scary: I don't think I should have to elaborate on this but if you need me to, I will. Online dating is the way most people date these days. While it opens you to a huge population of potential suitors, it also opens you to a huge population of weirdos and d-bags.  2. There is no chosen one: Once you realize that there is no perfect person. You can quit pining away after the imaginary super model type who has no idea that they are gorgeous, makes six figu...

Mark and I need to have a talk. While he is off someplace romancing his wife with the millions of dollars earned through enhancing social media beyond what most minds could fathom (the mind I am mainly speak of is good old Tom from MySpace) there are people who are suffering because of it. Okay, I'm exaggerating. Blame it on being a kid with older siblings whose vivid imagination was birthed out of necessity. But back to Mark Z... Facebook has come a long way from what it was back in 2009 or whenever the heck it was launched. Not only can you do most of your shopping on the social media site, but you can also pick up a date. You read that correctly. Facebook is a great place to find your boo, your baby, hell... your bae. *cringe* ( I so hate that word). Why is this? Well allow me to share: The Cheers Factor : Remember Cheers? God. I'm dating myself. It was before Woody Harrelson was a bad arse in Natural Born Killers. Please say you have seen Natural Born Killers. Cheers w...

photo courtesy of techhive I remember getting an iPhone and the person I was with at the time kept asking me to see it. "Let me just see it!" He would say as he tossed his unworthy droid to the wayside in hopes of navigation my superior device. I was feeling pretty snazzy until a new iPhone came out. Then my version was a worthless has been and the race to keep up with the Jetson's    Jones's began. Realizing that my pocket couldn't take the beating Apple was serving up, I resigned myself to Andriod life and I've not been back to Apple land since. At this point there really isn't a preference. The older I get, the more I just need a phone that rings and texts. I had a T Mobile MyTouch that I spent about two years paying for and it died 4 months after the conclusion of the second year. Completely angered by this, I decided I was going to get a "cheap" phone. That meant one step away from Zack Morris a la Saved By The Bell. So I went to Walm...

 I'm a movie buff. Don't believe me? Check out my other blog on Movie Pilot. I think I fell in love with film back in Queens New York when I went to see Little Shop of Horrors with my father. Witnessing fantastic puppetry, acting, and music all in one sitting delightfully overwhelmed my senses. Film has come leaps and bounds since then and now a new genre of film is hitting mainstream: Christian/Spiritual Film. While there are plenty of Christian actors like Megan Good and Tyler Perry, there are some like Kirk Cameron who will only perform in films that are directed specifically toward the Christian demographic. His choice certainly doesn't discount the faith of other Christian actors however, it does make his commitment to Christ quite clear. Last year, I had the pleasure of watching Fireproof. It told the story of a marriage that was redeemed through faith and of course God. The movie had moments that I could relate to with ease, most of them sadly being the low...

photo courtesy of Eccentric Old Lady My mother is now in her 60's and while she cleans up really nice, most days she has no interest in wearing anything else other than baggy pants and an over-sized v-neck. She usually slaps a cap on and uses a store shopping bag to carry her purse. From the outside looking in, I would say that my mother looks beyond eccentric. Every other weekend, my mother comes to the house and "watches" the kids. Usually she is out the door by 10 am and walking to the Dollar Tree to go on a shopping spree. Her grandchildren are used to her walks. She will walk miles and miles and come back with all sorts of items for cashew milk to children's underwear for the kids. I always know when my mother has used the bathroom because I can smell the overwhelming scent of bleach. My mother douses the toilet seat with it before and after she uses it. No toilet is ever clean enough for her. She scrubs my light switches and screws up her face in disgu...

I don't know what the heck we are doing. All I know is I tossed on some leggings, a leopard kaftan top, some booties and hoop earrings. Red lip stick and a smile topped it off. I was "hanging out". Now going to the movies with someone of the opposite sex that you find attractive... is that hanging out? I suppose it is if you agreed not to date, which is what we did. We met, he asked me to meet and we did. We had milkshakes and conversation and then we went our separate ways. Later we both agreed that we were in different places. He is super single, no kids, and a yoga obsession. I'm super occupied: small business owner, two kids, and wine lover. But, despite our differences... he said "Let's hang out" and because I have been held captive by my own ambitions I accepted the invitation. Was it nice to chat with man who can hold a conversation? Yup. Was it nice to sit across from a man I find attractive? Certainly. Is our interaction serving any poin...

Who do you call on when you need help coming to a decision? Many of us call our best friend, a parent, or seek spiritual revelation. Some of us find ourselves on the couch of a high priced therapist hoping for direction instead of reflection. I'm writing this blog to tell you that you don't need to look to anyone else for your answers. The answers are within you. Each of us are equipped with internal wisdom. We have the gift to discern our life's direction. This isn't to forsake the God you serve, this is to say if you in fact believe in the God you serve, you should believe your God dwells inside of you and therefore you can seek answers from within. Don't feel guilty about it. Following your heart takes training however, I'm a firm believer that your heart doesn't lead you wrong. The conflict of the mind and heart is what steers people in the wrong direction. When your heart says "yes" and your mind says "maybe" the signals cross ...

She Says: He used to be so romantic, he would give me candle light dinners I was amused by his antics, I thought I found a winner. Now all he does is park his ass on the couch and when I ask him what's wrong he says he doesnt know what I'm talking about. He doesnt talk to me, he doesnt take me out then he wants to sleep with me when he retires from his couch he's hardly ever home and when he is here? he makes me feel like I forced him to be, and it just isn't fair. He Says: She used to laugh at all my silly jokes then she brought all of our problems to her girlfriends and folks. now feel like a stranger in my own house so I take my place quietly on the living room couch. I try to step away from my man made island but when I try to sleep with her, she makes me feel guilty for trying she says that the way I treat her is so unfair but if she doesnt want me with her, then why am I here? She Says: I used to try talk to him, but he didn't want to l...

The Turner’s Elaine hurriedly grabbed for her tattered black handbag as she exited her 1994 black mustang. She hadn’t washed her hair in about five days and piling her thick black locks high in a bun atop her head wasn’t going to disguise her neglect much longer. She felt the familiar breeze of the air against her backside and routinely hiked up her low rise skinny jeans to cover the inadvertent peepshow her buttocks were giving. Her saddle colored leather jacket looked about as done for as her hair, but that wasn’t something she was willing to change. She head for the school doors taking a brisk stride. Her long legs kicked upward, as if she were practicing her best goose step in some foreign army; likely the consequence of wearing cumbersome motorcycle boots. As she strode toward the principal’s office she sighed and curled the top corner of her upper lip, making no effort to hide her annoyance when she spotted Belinda. Belinda was impeccably dressed as always and returne...

I seldom apologize for anything because I truly believe that I am right about most things. I know this makes me a jerk to many people but I don't feel guilty because, well... I don't think I'm wrong so who really cares what anyone thinks of me? However, despite my excellent average of being right, there are those times when I am off the mark and I am just wrong. Recently I experienced one of those times. I was seeing this guy, who I was very hard on (we had a history that can best be described as turbulent). After overcoming many of our issues, we decided to give the relationship another effort. Things went well until he just stopped calling me and I was so livid. What hurt more is that despite his shortcomings, I held this man in very high regard and for him to be so careless and flippant with my feelings was a monumental disappointment. A year passed and I got an email from him saying "thank you for adding me to your linkedin network..." the email went on...

We met one day when I was coming from the mall. When shame had yet to weigh on my shoulders and I still stood tall. We dated a bit and moved quite fast two lines on a stick and we had 18 years to last. Two more lines, and we decided to marry. I waddled to the courthouse with our baby I carried. That moment was just that, it didnt last long Before the blues were my only song. He cheated as often as people sleep or any other ritual like waking up or brushing teeth there was never a time it wasnt in my face when I got calls from women saying : "I've been at your place" "I sat on your couch." "You're married? I'm sorry, I should have figured that out." "He took me to six flags" "I saw your family pictures." "He said your marriage was open, I didn't know he was with ya." So one night, he was sitting on his phone. Chatting with his mistress as if I weren't even home. I pulled on my stockings and ...

He moved me to do things that I hadn't done. Highway drives, random rides, he was up for fun. He held my hand as we listened to tunes. We would chat about politics, friends, and news. Conversation just flowed with any topic we'd choose. He would puff on natural stuff, and I would drink all the booze. I'd play in his hair and he would always close his eyes and smile. We'd escape in our place and allow our passion to run wild. Our hearts moved inches and then soared for miles. He wanted us to pour our love into making a child. But then there was the fighting, and the hurt feelings. The light that shone on us fell hard from loves ceiling. Loves walls were crumbling and the paint was peeling. Love was breaking down faster than we could do the healing We couldn't buy back all the happiness the drama was stealing God wouldn't answer our prayers so we both quit kneeling. Each day resentment would continue to build. day by day until ...

Everyone has a purpose. Life is a journey to realizing that purpose and sharing it with the rest of the world. Many times we seek the secret to success without realizing that the secret is no more than discovering to your gift and giving it to the world. We often interpret success to be financial. Financial wealth is no more than a blessing that is the fortunate result of sharing your gift(s). I once met a woman who told me that Oprah Winfrey was her best friend. While Oprah can't call this woman specifically by name, I'm sure she knows that she is often considered a friend or even best friend to thousands of people if not more. She would have never received the opportunity to play that role in so many lives had she not embarked upon a career as a news anchor. Eventually, she was turned away from the business because she didnt have the look. That rejection only allowed her to place her focus on other opportunities and after the start of a talkshow she was able to take her...