Skip to main content

Dating Without Direction: Pointless or On Point?


I don't know what the heck we are doing.
All I know is I tossed on some leggings, a leopard kaftan top, some booties and hoop earrings. Red lip stick and a smile topped it off. I was "hanging out".
Now going to the movies with someone of the opposite sex that you find attractive... is that hanging out? I suppose it is if you agreed not to date, which is what we did. We met, he asked me to meet and we did. We had milkshakes and conversation and then we went our separate ways. Later we both agreed that we were in different places. He is super single, no kids, and a yoga obsession. I'm super occupied: small business owner, two kids, and wine lover.
But, despite our differences... he said "Let's hang out" and because I have been held captive by my own ambitions I accepted the invitation. Was it nice to chat with man who can hold a conversation? Yup.
Was it nice to sit across from a man I find attractive? Certainly.
Is our interaction serving any point? That depends on how you look at things.
See, while I would like to find someone I can actually see myself with, that's not something that is easily found. Also to be honest, I don't have the time required to actually invest in someone on a serious level. So going out and doing a random movie or dinner is just the speed that I need. I don't feel obligated. I don't feel the need to question his intentions. I just feel like we are two adults "hanging out".
He is a gentleman. He's easy on my eyes. He's smart. He's fun.
That's enough for me right now. When I want more, I know what to do.
For now? I'm doing what brings a smile to my face. Being social, going out, engaging in conversation, dressing up, and feeling like my company is appreciated.

Why is that we often feel so compelled to analyze everything? Why do we need to break down everyone's intention? Why can't we just trust ourselves to know what we want and what we don't? When it's time to pull away from something, you just know.
The old me would have been sorting this entire interaction out, attempting to figure out his intentions and the destination of this interaction. For now, I can just enjoy the interaction.

I used to date with a purpose but by doing so, I extracted the joy out of the entire experience. Time to turn a new leaf.

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sign Of The Times: Case of The Serial Texter

I was lying in bed when I heard the familiar chime of an incoming text. Opening one eye, I opened the message to see two letters: GM. Still, in the stupor that slumber often puts you in, I scanned my brain to register the meaning...ah yes...Good Morning. I clumsily keyed in "Hey" and hit the send button. I kept my face deep in my pillow listening for another chime. Nothing. I switched my phone into silent mode and caught another hour of sleep before waking up again. This is a typical day in the life of a serial texter. I text a lot. I text because it's free (on my cell plan). I text because it's convenient. I text because it's a great way to have a conversation without actually having a conversation. But what happens when you actually WANT to speak to the other person with whom you are texting? How do you break the pattern? After months of texting, a phone call may prove to be awkward and break the momentum you built through texting! This has happened
1 comment
Read more

A Love Story

Sometimes he looked at me the way I had always wanted to be looked at. His eyes would fill with a wonder as if I was a beautiful creature he never knew existed. I would often pretend I didn't notice, because I liked to be admired a bit longer. I knew he would break his gaze if I acknowledged it. So I sat and made my best effort to remain natural, refusing to ruin the moment with unnecessary interruption. Other times, I would intentionally turn toward him. I would return his gaze and admire every curve of his face. I would notice the perceived flaws and want to kiss them all. My lips would travel across the map of his face, landing on every location of interest. He would laugh, and distract my lips from their unplanned journey by planting his against my own- keeping them in the destination he chose. I was alway obedient to what he wanted. Knowing that he wanted me was enough and so I did as he directed and I enjoyed heeding his unsaid instructions. I knew when he didn't wa
Post a Comment
Read more

The Real Thing *Relationships/Dating*

I love Marvin Gaye. I love how he croons along with Tammi Terrell about having the "Real Thing". If you have followed my blog over the years, you have seen me get separated, divorced, and hit the dating scene. Its been a long road. There was a time that I was dating just to get my feet wet. I just wanted to get into the habit of conversing and entertaining men in a way that I hadn't due to the confines of marriage. I just wanted to be single again. Eventually I came to want more. I wanted to have something...real. I am not a traditional woman. If I didn't have children I would likely never be married and I would be totally fine with living in a separate home from my significant other and connecting when we wanted to connect and maintaining space all other times. However, I have children...and my lifestyle preferences are not a priority. I am more interested in setting an example and foundation for my girls. So here I am, dating with a purpose. I have been on POF,
Post a Comment
Read more