Dating Without Direction: Pointless or On Point?

I don't know what the heck we are doing.
All I know is I tossed on some leggings, a leopard kaftan top, some booties and hoop earrings. Red lip stick and a smile topped it off. I was "hanging out".
Now going to the movies with someone of the opposite sex that you find attractive... is that hanging out? I suppose it is if you agreed not to date, which is what we did. We met, he asked me to meet and we did. We had milkshakes and conversation and then we went our separate ways. Later we both agreed that we were in different places. He is super single, no kids, and a yoga obsession. I'm super occupied: small business owner, two kids, and wine lover.
But, despite our differences... he said "Let's hang out" and because I have been held captive by my own ambitions I accepted the invitation. Was it nice to chat with man who can hold a conversation? Yup.
Was it nice to sit across from a man I find attractive? Certainly.
Is our interaction serving any point? That depends on how you look at things.
See, while I would like to find someone I can actually see myself with, that's not something that is easily found. Also to be honest, I don't have the time required to actually invest in someone on a serious level. So going out and doing a random movie or dinner is just the speed that I need. I don't feel obligated. I don't feel the need to question his intentions. I just feel like we are two adults "hanging out".
He is a gentleman. He's easy on my eyes. He's smart. He's fun.
That's enough for me right now. When I want more, I know what to do.
For now? I'm doing what brings a smile to my face. Being social, going out, engaging in conversation, dressing up, and feeling like my company is appreciated.

Why is that we often feel so compelled to analyze everything? Why do we need to break down everyone's intention? Why can't we just trust ourselves to know what we want and what we don't? When it's time to pull away from something, you just know.
The old me would have been sorting this entire interaction out, attempting to figure out his intentions and the destination of this interaction. For now, I can just enjoy the interaction.

I used to date with a purpose but by doing so, I extracted the joy out of the entire experience. Time to turn a new leaf.

Comments

K-Ci & Jo-Jo Come Clean.... : REVIEW

When I heard that K-Ci and Jo-Jo were coming out with a reality show documenting their experience going through rehab, I was excited. The first thing I wanted to know was which one was K-Ci and which one was Jo-Jo (yes, it has been that long since I have seen let alone heard of them since highschool). I always loved Jodeci and when the two lead singers of the group branched off and made a few ballads I looked forward to hearing more, but more never came. Years passed by and I continued to play their hits and came to terms with the fact that this group was never going to reunite and the two brothers whose vocals lead the group to super stardom with were coked up and out for the count. Enter K-Ci and Jo-Jo: Coming Clean. I figured they were going to finally boot the snow blizzard that packed their nostrils. WRONG. They are kicking the alcohol habit. They claim that there was never a drug problem. We all have heard otherwise, but they insist. If moscato can turn me into what these t...

When History Repeats Itself...

My mom raised three kids on her own. My close friend Sandra's* mom raised two kids on her own. My friend Lana* is a product of a married household. Let me tell you some more facts: I am now a single mom raising two kids on my own. My sister is a single mother raising two kids. Sandra is a single mom raising three kids on her own. Lana is married, with two children and more often than not, a stay at home mom. Lets take a look closer: My husband has always told me that I was destined to be a single mother. It is his belief that I didn't put in the effort required to keep our marriage afloat because I was far too receptive to being a single mother since that was the type of household that I came from. This may be true. I have no idea what a working marriage looks like since I wasn't the product of one. One of my brothers who grew up with my rolling stone of a father informed me that many of the flaws my husband had were the same flaws our father had. I found this to...

Admit It, You're Bitter!

For most, dating isn't easy (see " Dating Game (s) post). Can I be honest? I have no idea on where to begin! With each failed relationship, after sulking and licking your wounds one would hope that they have at least learned something from the experience. As much as we invest in these relationships, even after their demise we should hope to take something away from it. Whether that means that you no longer have tolerance for someone who doesn't make you happy, or finally realizing someone who only changes their underwear on special occasions may not be the right person for you... the bottom line is that you have standards. For me, standards were truly created and defined after navigating the terrain of turbulent relationships. Its not that I hadn't a clue of what I wanted in a partner, its just that a few go-rounds with the wrong person will let you know what you DON'T want in a partner. Negative experiences will often leave me far less receptive ...

Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Search This Blog