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Oreo Cookies and Milk in Your Coffee

Mark Sinclair Vincent refuses to comment on his ethnicity. In fact he adopted the moniker Vin Diesel as a measure to further maintain his ambiguous ethnicity. It is said that he rather not be type-cast in film roles due to his race, and for that reason he opts not to disclose it. How unfortunate but true that people are often type-cast by their ethnicity. I can hardly think of one Latin actor that has broke the mold aside from Benicio Del-Torro.

The same discretion is sometimes used in inter-racial relationships. Many men and women feel uncomfortable disclosing their counter-parts race if it differs from their own. I find this extremely hard to believe being that our President is bi-racial. I thought that people were over this. Sadly, its still a topic among many.

A close friend of mine who is a Black American told me of her experience going on a date with a white man. She said that she received tons of sneers and snickers from black men the entire evening as they walked through the mall together. She has since had children with a black man, and the relationship failed. After some years, she decided to date again and has taken interest with a white man. The relationship seems to be going well, however she can't get away from comments (sometimes disguised in jest) about her "leaving the team" for a white man.

I believe that a good man takes preference over a man that shares your race. I have had my fair share of men that were of the same ethnicity as me and they were complete duds. I don't believe that another man of a different race would have made much of a difference. I have heard women compare races and tell me all sorts of FYI's and rules to follow that I refuse to believe as true.

However, perhaps others feel differently.

How do you feel when you see someone of your race walking hand in hand with someone else who isn't? Do you immediately take offense, or do you fail to even take notice at all? What about someone who only dates men or women outside of their race? Does that offend you?

I will conclude this post with a story about my cousin Johnnie*. Johnnie has never dated a black woman a day in his life. One day I finally asked him why and he said:"I know a good looking black woman when I see one, I just don't want one".
While this may offend some, it didn't offend me at all. Even if Johnnie weren't my cousin, I wouldn't want him either!

*Name has been changed for the purpose of privacy

Comments

  1. Interesting! This topic will always be a hot one due to the long history behind it. While we have made many strides in race relations in the USA as evidenced by the election of President Obama, we still have a long way to go.

    I think that we have seen Black men dating outside of their race for a lot longer, than we have seen Black women doing the same. I think that for some Black women,when we see a Black man with a woman who isn't Black, we feel slighted. That is true for many reasons. In the US, Black women were never held historically to be the beauty ideal as evidenced by the faces that grace the covers of most magazines. When a Black man turns to someone who looks the exact opposite to you, it may feel like a slap in the face, another form of rejection... "What, I'm not good enough for you?" On the flip side, some Black men covet that White woman because he was never allowed to have her before, similar to a trophy. But should he see a Black woman with a white man, he feels like "the man" stole one of his queens.

    At this point, people shouldn't take these things seriously. People date who is attractive to them. I find it odd that your attraction would be exclusively toward someone who doesn't look like you, as opposed to being open to dating anyone with whom you share the same ideals, values and get along with, regardless of the color skin that they're in, but who I am to judge?

    I am in a relationship with a White man and am very happy. In my experience, the majority of angry stares we get are from Black men. Admittedly, the first few times it was a bit uncomfortable, but after awhile I became oblivious. I am responsible for going after my own happiness. While I am strongly attracted to Black men and that is my natural inclination, I am open to love and to being loved and will not deny myself that for any reason.

    I am open to being treated like a lady, being respected, cared for, cherished, made to feel beautiful and if my knight just so happens to be White, then I say alright and call it night... nuff said!

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  2. I think I used to be annoyed by black men who exclusively dated white women...not so much anymore though. I am more annoyed at black men who date white women but marry black women. I don't understand that at all. At this point in my life, I would date anyone that made me happy.

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