I have plenty of people that I am friendly with, but seldom do I claim people as friends. It took me many years to come this conclusion. I would become friends with someone only to find out that our interaction didn't quite qualify as friendship.
Now that I have learned how to make friends, I am so very happy that I have been fortunate to have the friends that I do.
However, there are the few that proclaim to be your friend and aren't truly your friend at all. So I wanted to create a list of the types of "friends" you may run into because I have that much time on my hands today.
1) The Too Cool For School Friend: This friend calls you when the mood strikes, hangs out with you if the two of you happen to be within a 2 mile radius of each other at the same time and seldom ever knows whats going on in your life. However, they will always refer to you as a friend in company and in private. You often wonder why you go along with this description of a clearly casual acquaintance.
2) The Client: All thats missing is a pipe and a couch in this friendship. Your friend makes it his or her business to always call you when things go awry. Whether its the most recent breakup, the horoscope from hell or paranoia for whats to come this person always calls you. You know that they don't mean to dump on you on purpose but you often have the urge to refer them to a therapist.
3) The Verbal Masturbator: This friend is the evil version of "The Client". This person calls you and basically crop dusts you with a myriad of negativity and then abruptly ends the call after they're done. Before you can realize what just happened, its already too late, you've already been screwed.
4)The Team Player: No need to grab a score board with this friend. They can tell you who's in the lead in a heartbeat. This person does tons of great things for you, the only problem is they keep a mental log of each and every good deed. God forbid you don't start to reciprocate or else you will be called out on it or dropped. The rules with this friend are hard to figure out. You will often find yourself pondering if two tickets to football game are the equivalent to a free dinner at Olive Garden. You just wont know how to keep store because the only one who knows the point system is your tally toting friend. No need to learn anyway, you're bound to lose the game.
5)The True Blues Clues: This friend seems genuine. The two of you chat, hang out, exchange thoughts, and have a great friendship. The only issue is that periodically your friend falls off the face of the earth and you can't seem to get a hold of them unless you inserted a tracking device into their... well you get the point. This friend is the friend that you actually miss when you don't hear from them. No need to pout, you know that it will only take a phone call and things will pick up as if he or she were never absent.
6) The Daily News: This friend is good for gossiping and hanging out. This friendship has no depth. The two of you only discuss what other people are doing and when you aren't doing that you are cutting up a rug or taking shots together. This friends is the entertainment section of your life and nothing more. You wouldn't dare demand more of them because they have nothing else to offer you (at least that you would want anyway).
7)The Inmate: This friend is digging you, I mean REALLY digging you and you are not feeling the same way. Instead of moving on, they continue to stay in the friendship in hopes that you will some day let them out of imprisonment of the Friend Zone. You have a hunch that this person is waiting for the day you come around the corner and you continue to post up at the intersection of Hell No Street and Not in a Million Years Blvd.
8) The True/Best Friend: I don't have to say much here. The best friend is a cherished friend. There are things you may change about them, but at the end of the day the constant here is that you don't plan on swapping them for anyone else hence being the best of the bunch.
9) The Facebook Friend: The only thing holding you and this friend together is nostalgia. It all started with a friend request on Facebook and you remembering sitting next to them in the caferteria doing lunch lady impersonations. That childhood memory somehow created the impulse to hit "ACCEPT" and now you wonder why you have over 300 friends on your page and interact with about 15 of them on a regular basis.
Now that I have learned how to make friends, I am so very happy that I have been fortunate to have the friends that I do.
However, there are the few that proclaim to be your friend and aren't truly your friend at all. So I wanted to create a list of the types of "friends" you may run into because I have that much time on my hands today.
1) The Too Cool For School Friend: This friend calls you when the mood strikes, hangs out with you if the two of you happen to be within a 2 mile radius of each other at the same time and seldom ever knows whats going on in your life. However, they will always refer to you as a friend in company and in private. You often wonder why you go along with this description of a clearly casual acquaintance.
2) The Client: All thats missing is a pipe and a couch in this friendship. Your friend makes it his or her business to always call you when things go awry. Whether its the most recent breakup, the horoscope from hell or paranoia for whats to come this person always calls you. You know that they don't mean to dump on you on purpose but you often have the urge to refer them to a therapist.
3) The Verbal Masturbator: This friend is the evil version of "The Client". This person calls you and basically crop dusts you with a myriad of negativity and then abruptly ends the call after they're done. Before you can realize what just happened, its already too late, you've already been screwed.
4)The Team Player: No need to grab a score board with this friend. They can tell you who's in the lead in a heartbeat. This person does tons of great things for you, the only problem is they keep a mental log of each and every good deed. God forbid you don't start to reciprocate or else you will be called out on it or dropped. The rules with this friend are hard to figure out. You will often find yourself pondering if two tickets to football game are the equivalent to a free dinner at Olive Garden. You just wont know how to keep store because the only one who knows the point system is your tally toting friend. No need to learn anyway, you're bound to lose the game.
5)The True Blues Clues: This friend seems genuine. The two of you chat, hang out, exchange thoughts, and have a great friendship. The only issue is that periodically your friend falls off the face of the earth and you can't seem to get a hold of them unless you inserted a tracking device into their... well you get the point. This friend is the friend that you actually miss when you don't hear from them. No need to pout, you know that it will only take a phone call and things will pick up as if he or she were never absent.
6) The Daily News: This friend is good for gossiping and hanging out. This friendship has no depth. The two of you only discuss what other people are doing and when you aren't doing that you are cutting up a rug or taking shots together. This friends is the entertainment section of your life and nothing more. You wouldn't dare demand more of them because they have nothing else to offer you (at least that you would want anyway).
7)The Inmate: This friend is digging you, I mean REALLY digging you and you are not feeling the same way. Instead of moving on, they continue to stay in the friendship in hopes that you will some day let them out of imprisonment of the Friend Zone. You have a hunch that this person is waiting for the day you come around the corner and you continue to post up at the intersection of Hell No Street and Not in a Million Years Blvd.
8) The True/Best Friend: I don't have to say much here. The best friend is a cherished friend. There are things you may change about them, but at the end of the day the constant here is that you don't plan on swapping them for anyone else hence being the best of the bunch.
9) The Facebook Friend: The only thing holding you and this friend together is nostalgia. It all started with a friend request on Facebook and you remembering sitting next to them in the caferteria doing lunch lady impersonations. That childhood memory somehow created the impulse to hit "ACCEPT" and now you wonder why you have over 300 friends on your page and interact with about 15 of them on a regular basis.
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