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If I Was Your Girlfriend...

There are plenty of songs out there for the secret admirer who croons longingly how much they would go out of the way to please that special someone. Most times the lyrics are pretty juicy and you walk away pitying the person who has not one clue as to how much good would come to them if they discovered the person admiring them and gave them an opportunity to fulfill all of their promises.
Last weekend I was listening to the song "If" by Janet Jackson with my sister and we were cackling over the lyrics. Here the gorgeous Janet Jackson is singing about all of the naughty things she would do to this man who has no idea at all. After listening to that song, I thought of Prince, how years earlier made his own song for the secret admirer called "If I Was Your Girlfriend".
Later in the week, my soon to be ex husband came over to see our kids and when it came time to leave, his girlfriend picked him up. This was news to me. I had no clue that he had a girlfriend seeing that he has been trying to persuade me to move back in for weeks now. He has also tried to kiss me on the mouth several times. Then again, knowing him to be who he is... I have no idea why I am confused by any of this at all.
Getting back to the point...I thought about his girlfriend. I wondered what type of woman she was. I wondered if she dealt with the same issues I dealt with, I wondered if she thought he was the man I once thought he was. I wondered if she KNEW what I knew and chose to either accept it or ignore it. As my mind wandered, I thought about if I was his girlfriend. I don't think I would have ever made it to that point. I think I would have figured him out. I don't think I would choose to be a girlfriend to a man like that after having had the experience of being a wife to man like that.
After I pondered my way into a headache, I then began to think of a special someone that I do think of from time to time and would consider being in a relationship with. I wondered what it would be like if I were his girlfriend. I don't think he knows that I think of him this way and most times I divert my thoughts elsewhere since I am still a married woman (this divorce thing is a loooong process). Still, I can't help but think of it from time to time and wonder what it would be like to be in a relationship with that special guy. I suppose I will never be able to put in my "bid for boo" until I clear up this whole "wife thing" *hee hee*. Even then, I won't know if he will even be interested. Til then, I'll be putting Prince and Janet on repeat.

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