Hello Earthlings: A Quiet Rant

I'm an alien.
Okay, before you decide that I am off my rocker allow me to explain.
Most people that I interact with I just don't understand. I have reached a point where I don't understand most things. I don't understand why complete strangers feel obligated to be "polite" and ask me how I am doing when they truly don't care. Or how about why banks allow you to spend money that you don't have only to penalize you later for it with an overdraft fee, then tell you that you don't need to balance your checking account because their website is in real time when it really isn't. What about men who want to get inside of you but somehow manage to exclude your heart and mind from that equation? I don't understand that. I really don't understand fathers who make babies but don't raise them. Was that just the highlight of your year to create a human being and then totally disregard the involvement that comes along with actually raising one? I don't understand why people get married only to ruin their own marriages. Seriously, why waste time walking down the aisle when you were only going to walk out on the marriage four years later (okay that was personal).

I don't understand women who dress like slut cakes and then complain about men treating them like a piece of steak. I'm going to quote Dave Chapelle or Chris Rock...one of them here: "If you run around dressed like a Cop because you feel like it, don't get mad when someone runs up to you and says they need help for a robbery or a murder...you're dressed like a frikkin' cop!" So to those ladies, don't walk around showing all of your goodies and wonder why all of the guys are sprinkling A-1 sauce on you.
Another thing I don't understand? Lying! When you become an adult you really shouldn't feel obligated to lie to anyone anymore. Its ridiculous. Tell the truth and let the other person be held accountable for how they handle the information you gave them.
I don't understand why people who never pray, or even acknowledge any deity always shout "Oh my God" in the height of pain, fear or sorrow. So, do you believe or not? That makes no sense.
I don't understand why men and woman complain about their significant others for years on end. Either they like complaining or they hate moving on. Pick one.
I don't understand fat people who cry on treadmills. I thought you were crying over being fat? I'm confused.
I don't understand people who tell me how talented they believe I am but refuse to read one poem, story or excerpt of my writing. How do YOU know I am talented when you couldn't invest FIVE minutes in me to find out? Oh let's just revisit the lying portion of the post a few paragraphs back. Then we can have that question covered.
I still can't seem to understand why I have tennis elbow when I haven't played a bit of tennis since I was ten years old. Still my elbow aches and my "tennis elbow" is quite apparent.
Another thing I don't understand, and I am guilty of this...why do people tell you they drink, but not to get drunk? Well then what is the point? Do people do drugs not to get high? Still trying to sort that one out...

Last thing I really don't understand... love. I am so sick of that word I think I am going to wipe it out of my vocabulary for about a year. I can revisit that later.
So, I think its time for me to retreat to my planet and hang out there and observe from a distance so that the next time I visit earth, I can blend in a little better.

Going out in Peace....

-Thinkin' Kinks

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