A New Leason on Love? : Love Lessons
Photo by Matt Artz on Unsplash |
There was this man I met years ago, and when I met him I wasn't even into him. I thought that he was a nice guy but there was no spark. We just hung out and chat and while it was a nice time, it wasn't phenomenal.
It's funny that as the years go by, we change or at least one would hope that we do and the same person who didn't leave a strong impression can now make a lasting impression on your heart.
So one day, a few years ago I told him that I loved him. I told him that I wanted us to just be together. I told him everything that I only thought in my mind. I exposed myself in a way I seldom do and his response was silence. He was too fearful to say he didn't feel the same, or he didn't want that from me, or anything. He just closed himself to me. While I didn't need the reciprocated feelings, the lack of acknowledgment was what hurt.
I forgave him. However, I utilize wisdom along with my emotions. I can love someone but I am no longer capable of loving someone beyond their own love for me. Love is best realized with reciprocity. I still love him, but I don't want to be with him. I don't imagine a life with him, and when he muses of future between us, I enjoy the moment for what it is but dismiss it from being a reality. It's good conversation. It's like playing emotional dress up. We put on our costumes and disrobe when the party is over.
The best thing about this is that while I love, I love like a woman should. I love with accountability. I love with wisdom. I love with experience. I think that the older I get the more rigid I become about allowing someone to occupy my heart on as needed basis.
Don't lease your love. Give it to someone who will make themselves at home with it, bask in it, maintain it and build upon it.
Don't give everlasting to squatters.
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