Skip to main content

Twisted World News Summary : What's Up with Kim and Don?

So you want to know what's going on with North Korea and the United States but are too afraid to ask because your friends will know that you are a hopelessly uninformed willfully ignorant spaz? No worries friend, I've got your back. Want to hear it? Here it go:

 Kim Jong-un's attitude when people tell him NOT to do something.

So Kim Jong-un is like from this legacy of badasses, right?! So he's all like " I am the Supreme leader of North Korea" and he will pretty much smoke your @$$ if you're fake. He only messes with people who keep it real. Then he decides he is going to do some bomb testing even though world leaders agreed to cut out the nuclear bomb stuff because who really wins when it comes to that sh*t? But Kim is like "nah, I give no f---'s" I'm bomb testing.
You have a problem? Come see me. 

 So everyone in the US is looking at Don like "Yo, what are you going to do dude?" Don's over there just working his thumbs tweeting, and looking up to drop a few word for the press. He isn't going hard like did on other folks. Don is tweeting and chilling.
So the tension is building, right? People are like " DON, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO DO?!!"  Don finally speaks on it during a United Nations speech and basically said "Look, I'm getting sick of this crazy Rocket Man in North Korea. If he wants to pop off, I'm going to have to totally destroy North Korea." 'Cause he's totes over the Rocket Man Drama. 

Trumps not having the Rocket Man drama


So Kim Jong-un is all like "WHAT DID THAT FUTHA MUCKA JUST SAY?" and then Kim comes out and addresses Trump personally with his own public announcement. He goes all Samuel L. Jackson on him and berates the shat out of Trump, calls him a frikkin old senile fool and said that he accepts Trumps words as an invitation for a beat down. He is super frikking pissed and he isn't having any of that Trump verbal abuse that other's put up with. He's all like "to hell with you, you're more talk than action and I'm about to show you how we do in North Korea, fool. He's going completely gangsta' and now everyone is sitting around petrified that it's about to go down.

Kim Jong-un is Sam J. Pulp Fiction Pissed Right Now

Now everyone in North Korea and the US are crapping bricks because we have two hot headed leaders who appear to be leading us into war we want nothing to do with and have nothing to gain from but bragging rights and a surge in headstone purchases.  


So that's your Twisted World News Summary 

May the force be with you, or the bomb shelter. I don't really know at this point. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sign Of The Times: Case of The Serial Texter

I was lying in bed when I heard the familiar chime of an incoming text. Opening one eye, I opened the message to see two letters: GM. Still, in the stupor that slumber often puts you in, I scanned my brain to register the meaning...ah yes...Good Morning. I clumsily keyed in "Hey" and hit the send button. I kept my face deep in my pillow listening for another chime. Nothing. I switched my phone into silent mode and caught another hour of sleep before waking up again. This is a typical day in the life of a serial texter. I text a lot. I text because it's free (on my cell plan). I text because it's convenient. I text because it's a great way to have a conversation without actually having a conversation. But what happens when you actually WANT to speak to the other person with whom you are texting? How do you break the pattern? After months of texting, a phone call may prove to be awkward and break the momentum you built through texting! This has happened

A Love Story

Sometimes he looked at me the way I had always wanted to be looked at. His eyes would fill with a wonder as if I was a beautiful creature he never knew existed. I would often pretend I didn't notice, because I liked to be admired a bit longer. I knew he would break his gaze if I acknowledged it. So I sat and made my best effort to remain natural, refusing to ruin the moment with unnecessary interruption. Other times, I would intentionally turn toward him. I would return his gaze and admire every curve of his face. I would notice the perceived flaws and want to kiss them all. My lips would travel across the map of his face, landing on every location of interest. He would laugh, and distract my lips from their unplanned journey by planting his against my own- keeping them in the destination he chose. I was alway obedient to what he wanted. Knowing that he wanted me was enough and so I did as he directed and I enjoyed heeding his unsaid instructions. I knew when he didn't wa

The Real Thing *Relationships/Dating*

I love Marvin Gaye. I love how he croons along with Tammi Terrell about having the "Real Thing". If you have followed my blog over the years, you have seen me get separated, divorced, and hit the dating scene. Its been a long road. There was a time that I was dating just to get my feet wet. I just wanted to get into the habit of conversing and entertaining men in a way that I hadn't due to the confines of marriage. I just wanted to be single again. Eventually I came to want more. I wanted to have something...real. I am not a traditional woman. If I didn't have children I would likely never be married and I would be totally fine with living in a separate home from my significant other and connecting when we wanted to connect and maintaining space all other times. However, I have children...and my lifestyle preferences are not a priority. I am more interested in setting an example and foundation for my girls. So here I am, dating with a purpose. I have been on POF,