Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Halloween is Monday. If you don't have a costumed prepared for this weekends "big party", you've pretty much missed the train and will have to sort thru the slim pickings at Costume Stores much like a buzzard nips at an abandoned carcass. You can attempt an Amazon Prime situation but usually you need at least three days for that if you have a mail carrier like mine. So what are you going to do? I'll tell you what you're going to do: make your own costume! Here are some easy DIY costumes that you can create on a dime : 1. "cereal killer": all you need is an old white tee, a couple of cereal boxes and some plastic butter knives along with glue and anything you can find that will act as blood. If you have food coloring or red paint...make it happen. I'd stain portions of the tee, let it dry. Next, I'd glue the plastic knives haphazardly Into the cereal Boxes and add more "blood stain". There you have it! 2. Gypsy or pirate: I...

Today at work, a man was leaving the building and told me "stay beautiful". Usually, when a man says that I assume he is giving me a compliment but today I took it another way. After a break up, a break down, and a build up in progress, "stay beautiful" means so much more to me. A bad romance can kill your confidence. Weight gain can kill your self esteem. Working long hours can kill your social life. Here I was, a complete mess. I felt  ugly and if my outside reflected what I felt within, I looked ugly too. Then, he told me to stay beautiful and it all suddenly made sense. Staying beautiful isn't just a compliment a man or woman casually tosses your way. It's an action. Staying power isn't easy. We often see celebrities, whose foundation of fame and fortune often started off with a "look" long before it ended with talent (if at all). That's when the plastic surgery commences. We see the nips and tucks and eventually the disfigured faces...

I didn't know I was a side chick. It all kind of just, well happened. I have pointed many a finger at women who were Mistresses by choice and called them all sorts of terrible names to shame them for aiding a man in infidelity. Then I became the mistress. What was the lesson? Well when someone says they are separated, it means they are married. I wasn't your typical Mistress. I wasn't a spoiled chick with  my own credit card and exotic weekend trips. Nope, I was just relief. I was a welcomed change to a troubled marriage.  photo courtesy of www.xclusivetouch.co.uk He was separated. He had been separated from her for 4 years, had no interest in reconciliation, and was interested in me. My red flag started to rise a bit when he said 4 years. Who is separated for 4 years? Why not divorce? Did she up and move to another country? What the hell? He said that they just never bothered to but he needs to get around to it (ya think?!). Time went on and I got more and more...

photo courtesy of www.pinterest.com I've had a few people tell me they love me. Some would say they were in love and others would say that they just loved me. Sometimes, I could happily respond with my own profession of adoration and other times I have to smile and say "well I can't wait to love you too." I mean, what are you to say when someone verbalizes the ultimate emotion for you and you don't feel the same? Recently I met a guy. I even blogged about him before commenting on how he is a flaky guy and I have no idea where things will end up. Well this guy said he loves me. It's funny because I was happy to respond with the same sentiment. Then the bull$@#% started. This man has the motivation of a sloth on Mary Jane..with a bum knee...and arthritis. You get the point. So when you both love each other, it's nothing but smooth sailing, right? WRONG. Sure, every couple will experience tribulation within a relationship. However, when you have the l...

What does it mean to settle? Does it mean that all these black pots, gang up on my kettle and meddle in my life telling me whats right for whom to sacrifice my heart and who's love is worthy of my fight? What does it mean to settle? Does it mean you limit your love by accepting a bad situation and volunteering to be victim with passive participation claiming what you want but making no initiation to really have it? Does settling mean your habit of taking the blows he impresses upon your body make you that ride or die kind of shawty because you take his abuse and lie to everybody? the fist face two step, that's the dance at this party? What does it mean to settle? To love the one your with but cheat behind their back make a fool out of the one who helps you live while you ditch deep grooves for pavement cracks? sin like the best sinner but say God's got your back? What does it mean to settle? To take on the dude even though he tips the bottle? to take...

I decided last night that I wasn't going to eat anything. I came to work and had a cappuccino. That was just to cure the after effects of insomnia which is fatigue. After the caffeine crash, I moved on to a kale, peach, and mango smoothie. I was full until I took a tinkle. Now it's 1:27, my job has no filtered or bottled water and I have no idea how to curb my appetite. My stomach is churning with hunger and I don't want to eat anything. I want to be "clean" I feel like any food is a "hit". Anything can send me over the moon and crave something else. I should have  caesar salad but then I will want a slice of garlic bread. The garlic bread will make me crave pasta... and this is how I fight a losing battle. The hunger though... it's there. I like feeling my stomach rumble. I like my body to know what this really feels like because truth is, I seldom ever feel it. I keep my stomach full like a rich man keeps his account lined with money. Maybe I sho...

I think the best way to start this off is to give you an understanding of my relationship with food. First, we have a relationship. That should say something. The healthy person eats to live, and I live to eat. photo courtesy of www.grandparents.com I'm not sure how it all started honestly. My memory only goes back to about age 4 and at that time, I wasn't conscious of much of anything. I didn't think about my body. I hadn't compared it to anyone else. I was just as clueless about food. I never thought of eating too much or too little. I don't recall being hungry at that age. I just remember being fed. I was a picky eater. Cold cuts made me nauseous. A hot egg sandwich could be ingested but if you tossed a hot drink in the mix (like tea or cocoa), I was tossing cookies. If my dinner had too many ingredients, I picked around it. My mom was always one green pepper or onion slice away from ruining my meal. The only thing I ate to the last drop without fail was pi...

When it was between Hillary and Barack for the Democratic nomination I voted for Hillary. I felt that she was more qualified for the position and had a better handle on the issues than Obama. When he beat her out, I swung my support to Barack Obama, because he had won me over with his stance on some issues that concerned me and his campaign made sense when compared to the comedy show that John McCain was running. I don't know what it is, but the Republican party seems to have a lot of trouble getting their act together. I don't understand why anyone who would want to win a Presidential election would employ Sarah Palin and expect to be taken seriously. I don't understand why a real estate mogul/reality TV star is leading the polls for his party. I suppose there are so few upstanding Republicans that even want to take on the job as POTUS that you have to periodically (and begrudgingly) support a candidate that you don't believe is qualified. I suppose that this is how ...

I dated some in my day and there was a season of my dating life that I like to call "Chopping Season". That was the period of time when no man was worthy of my time and as soon as they gave me whatever I perceived as "good reason", I chopped them. Chopping someone is as a superior action  word. It's a verb with cojones. I have several ways of doing it. Sometimes I would make sure I did it in person. Other times, it would be a text or a slew of them if I were angry enough. Sometimes I would just block the person; allowing my silence to tell the story. Chopping happened frequently to the point my close friends termed what I did as "chopping". "Did you chop him?" My sister and best friend would often ask. If I was complaining a bit too much my friends would say "chop his ass, he's not worth it". If men were trees, I was surrounded by limbs of lumber. By golly, I chopped. I later realized that I was too hasty sometimes in my dec...

I've heard at least a dozen people proclaim their disgust with the success of Donald Trumps Presidential campaign. I'm lying, it's been everywhere. On social media, articles, and conversation you hear plenty people express their disdain at the mere thought of Trump assuming office. Then there are the supporters. There are the people who openly express their support of Trump winning the White House. As time goes on, Trump's position is yet more secured and his supporters are also more secure in showing just how much they love him. It seems now that victory is within their grasp, they can more openly say : I helped make this happen. Those are the cowards. They won't openly defend their candidate but they quietly follow and support him. Those are the people who will say: "well there are some people who support Trump because he says what others won't say." Those people, are talking about themselves. They are far too timid to say what Trump says and he ha...

They are smart (enough). Good looking (enough). Sweet (enough). Established (enough)... and you can't like them. You don't know why but there is something that is missing. Or something is there and it does the opposite of making you want to jump their bones, or fall in love, or take the leap or whatever cliche terms we have come up with to mean "be really interested." WHY? Why is it that we can't like the person that is the most logical to like? Why can't love and logic fellowship with one another and frolic toward the sunset in a land of love and common sense? Just about every man that has made sense to be with is the man that I didn't want, couldn't stand or couldn't make it work with. Oh, but bring me Captain Dbag, Sir WasteTime A lot, or King Idiot and you have to pick my tongue up off the floor. I have tried. I have psyched myself out on many occasion. I have done some crazy things to try to be into someone. I have had sex with my eyes clo...