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| photo courtesy of phillymag |
going to grab a bite from a Jamaican spot called sweet mango and he practically jogged to meet me. I actually tripped trying to accelerate out of his reach. Understand that I don't take too kindly to men approaching me while I'm out and about.
We spoke for a bit over the phone, but we were both going through way too much. He just had surgery on a hernia and was on a limited budget to his leave of absence from work for the surgery and I was gung-ho for divorce and struggling working a part time gig.
We fell off ( I often do that with many people).
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. He contacted me on FB (we weren't FBfriends at the time so a search was performed...hey, I'm worth searching for! lol) and we started chatting again. He said that he never forgot about me and he wanted to try again now that our lives have finally found stability. I agreed. I fancied another guy at the time but we weren't in an exclusive relationship and I needed to see what was out there. I'm didnt plan on limiting my dating experience. I was just curious to see
who will be the last man standing.
We agree for something casual. I suggest Buffalo Wild Wings. If this dude was going to get to know me he needs to know that I can get down on some wings and beer.
The outfit: cream shirt, cute flared skirt, wet hair swept up with some adorable sunglasses. Lip gloss: popping as always.
We agreed to meet at between 7 and 7:30. I get there at 7:15 with the understanding that I may have a 15 minute wait. I got D'Angelo crooning to me so I'm good with that. Well 7:30 turns in 8:03 and I
am pretty damned pissed. GI Joe conveniently texts me while I am waiting and I spare no details when I tell him I am on a date and peeved that I have been wasting all my kinkylisciousness waiting at a table by myself. So, I flirt with the waiter. (his name is Zach and he had a geeky sex appeal that I enjoyed). He finally arrives, and I stop texting the guy I actually liked who seemed tickeled that **** was already failing.
When he finally arrived, I made no effort to hide my annoyance that he was late. I didnt
stand up to give him a hug when he arrived and my dry greeting was followed by a "so tell me why you're late because I need a good reason."
He didnt have one worth remembering... I smell failure.
Now to the meat of the date:
**** is a bit different from my norm. He is a big guy. I didnt mind dating him and I had no intention of changing him because from what I remembered it was hefty but not huge. However, when I saw him
yesterday he was shorter AND way bigger than I remembered (I am not a short woman andwhen I wear heels as I did yesterday, I can easily surpass a short man in height.) Yesterday I was definitely taller than he was in my heels and I didnt like it. He was definitely beyond myhefty threshold too and I didnt like that either. I have don't impose optimal fitness on men that I date because I am not in great shape either however I do think that I can nix someone if they are in worse than I am or they have no intention of living a remotely healthy lifestyle. So when he ordered 50 wings, I nearly passed out.
Yup.
50 wings.
When he broke it down and said "15 buffalo, 15 barbeque... that makes 30 and 10 mango habanero and 10 thai curry. That makes 50!" I knew this wasnt his first rodeo.
He then asked me what I wanted (really?).
I had about 7, and he took about 20 home. That means he consumed 23 mother#%*king wangs man! AND two huge beers and.... (wait for it)....
a salad.
After flatlining and rising back from the dead by the grace of the savior, we did manage to have some conversation but none of it was particularly stimulating. We did laugh a lot. He expressed to me that
he was looking for a wife. I cringed on the inside and told him that Ican't see marriage for me in the future or at least not the near future.He also shared that he was having his 6th hernia surgery because the mesh wont heal properly (sounds gross). He also made mention of having his legs shortened, something I never knew was even possible. All I could think of was tending to this man for the rest of my life. This isnt appealing to a single woman who is raising two little women and a needy cat. I have
enough on my plate.
We did have a good time chatting but I saw other guests gawk at the 50 wings sitting at the table. I was surrounded by wings. It was like wing around the rosey. Once again, I will admit, we had
our fair share of laughs and we got along but come one guys, I can manage to get along or at least engage most people if I care to. It doesnt mean there is a connection.
He paid the bill. He didnt flinch, there were no issues there. He walked me to my car and I gave him a tight squeeze. He told me I smelled awesome (I mentally popped my collar, my fragrances are all
delectable).
I gave him a kiss on the CHEEK, setting the pace for where things were not going to go.
I offered to drive him to his car, and once I did, he leaned in....
Awwwww sh*t. WHY ARE YOU LEANING IN DUDE? Didnt I set the boundary? You are breaking a rule here. I gave him a resentful peck and sped off.
Scrolled through the tracks until Brown Shuga came on, turned it up and mentally went over my moving budget as I drove home. Forgot about the date that quickly.
So when I politely told him that I wasnt interested and there was nothing to be had between us but a friendship, he replied by saying "how about friends with benefits"? Can't blame a guy for trying but he should stick to wings because he will never get a taste of this woman.
Sentence Summary: He wasn't bad, but he certainly wasn't for me.
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