Thinking Kinky : The Nappy Haired Diva

Initially I loved being single. I used to joke with a friend about how we envied Will Smith in I Am Legend. A life of solitude with an awesome dog didn't seem too shabby.. post apocalyptic infected or not. But then this terrible thing happened: time. My kids are more independent. I can see them hanging with their friends in a few more years and I won't be the "it" thing. It sucks rolling over in the bed on a winter night and feeling an ice cold spot next to you. Friends with benefits gets old because we are all rotating friends for more exciting benefits and we know it, its just unspoken. It's like we have the benefits line and we are all standing in it, waiting our turn to get a piece. Trying new benefits isn't always good to do either. You don't know if your care will be up to par for all that... "ails you." I have no one to force to watch Food Network with me. Whenever I need a massage I have to actually go to a massage parlor. (who do...

Why do I keep doing this? I've already said that I quit on love . I took about a year off of dating, an entire year! I sat by myself and attempted to sort out my life's meaning and pursue more tangible goals that didn't involve the ever elusive "real love" that dwells in the habitat of "Dysfunctional Peoplelia". So! Let's go down the roster, shall we? Jimmy: That's not his real name, but I never was fond of putting people on front street via blog. Jimmy is 45, has 5 kids and two marriages under his belt. The kids are grown with the exception of the Irish twins who are the same age as my youngest. He is separated from his last wife for three years now and neither of them have made an effort to divorce. I don't know if its laziness, hope, or financial. Perhaps all three? I'm not looking to jump a broom so I don't care very much. He and I hang out, laugh, smooch, and text. However, he is a bit distant. Before you tell me that hangin...

I have a few more I knew it was over when's. I was chatting with a girlfriend and we were sharing our terrible dating stories and suddenly several of my " I Knew It Was Over When .... " 's came flooding back to me: I knew it was over when: photo courtesy of survivorsucks.com He spontaneously licked my boob crack and said "Girrrrl!".  He asked for a kiss, I said no, so he "took it" by kissing me passionately with my lips clenched shut. He started using slang that my daughter uses.  He turned to me and said "whew that was good!" ...and it wasn't. He had white bumps on his...  He said he was tired of STD's and needed to settle down He accused me of not cuddling him enough He sent me daily videos of him... licking his lips. Nothing else, just lip licking. He started freestyle rapping while we were making out He made high pitched puppy cries while we were making out He asked me if I wanted to see him in panties He...

I am darn near 35 years old and I have decided that it is time to throw in the towel when it comes to love. Love is like the lottery. You should play because there is a chance you can win but you shouldn't play too often and you shouldn't have high hopes because the odds are against you. At 35 I've spent almost a third of my three decades in a terrible relationship that morphed into a terrible marriage. I spent another third of my life dating one dud after another. During that time, I was often too damaged from the last dbag to appreciate the next dbag who may not have been a dbag but I was too damaged to know. Dating sucks that way. You want to give yourself time to recover the last horrible relationship but another part of you doesn't want to push away a potentially good opportunity when what seems like a nice guy or girl is knocking at your door. So you take a chance (there's that lottery again) but you make the mistake of having your hopes a smidgen too high....

Sometimes I like to play this game on Facebook with my friends. I post " I knew the date was over when..." and friends chime in with all sorts of wacky stories. So, I've decided to share some of my "I knew the date was over" 's with my Kinky Crew... want to read it? Here it goes!: I Knew The Date Was Over When...  He showed me his house arrest anklet.  He had handcuffs on the steering wheel. He tongue kissed my nose...twice. He drooled on me while we were making out. He said he wish he had breasts He pulled his penis out and showed me his tattoo that said "High Voltage" He ordered 50 buffalo wings and asked me what I wanted.  He showed me his cell phone and a text came in that said "Missing you" He told me that he his hernia mesh kept breaking.  He admitted that she stalked his ex wife in Walmart He spent the entire date asking for advice on his current relationship He had a hug fetish and asked for 9 hugs ...

About two weeks ago, I was watching Desperado and wondering why there weren't any other cool Hispanic/Latino films out there for me to enjoy. Let's be honest, Beverly Hills Chihuahua wasn't going to satiate my craving. Also I think there are a major shortage of Hispanic/Latino films that give a true depiction of the race and culture. I am always looking for new cool films and this one fell into my lap today:  The Last Intervention  is an independent comedy film directed by  Giovanny Blanco  and written by  Sarah Thorpe  that focuses on the 17 year old rebellious and misunderstood teen Melky, played by  Alyssa Abreu .  Melky is the daughter of Dominican parents who have divorced. Despite the dissolution of their marriage, Melky remains the central concern of not just her parents but many of her family members as they come together to stage an intervention at the urging of her father, Cheche.  Cheche, Melky's semi-narcissistic father (pla...

So, Khloe Kardashian has rushed to her estranged husband's side to be there for him after being rescued from a Las Vegas brothel eh? Surprise , surprise. She still loves him clearly and proceeding with a divorce when her estranged husband is incapacitated seems like the moral thing to do. With the memes that are being circulated lately about Odom's drug habit and saving his marriage by being a junky and sleeping with whores, people have cast  Khloe Kardashian as the village idiot in of  the Khloe-Lamar Love Story. But can we really say anything? Khloe is in the public eye so we all see her idiocy whether she likes it or not, but plenty of us have made similar decisions. We're just fortunate to have our folly concealed behind the lips of faithful friends. Plenty of women and men have not only endured drug addicts, liars, cheaters, but  left them only to take them back a time or two hundred. This behavior isn't news to us. It just makes the news because we enjoy baski...

What's In a Hymen? I read in the paper last week, that some women are seeking to have their hymens repaired so that their soon to be husbands to be would believe that they are virgins. (insert deep breath here) Okay, maybe in a culture where women are expected to be virgins and if they aren't they are stoned to death, or forced into brothels or something...but AMERICA? Then again, what the heck is so great about America? The bottom line is, we as women are so compelled to satisfy men that we are willing to surgically reinvent hymens. Absurd is putting it mildly. Outrageous is more I like it. So, where are all these men who are breaking hymens and running off to marry preserved virgins with hymens in tact, and ready to be broken? Regardless of where you are from, it's the same mentality. Americans are no different and no less oppressed when most American women either: a) broke their hymen in a drunken stupor b) broke their hymen with a guy who's last name isn...

Mega Millions: Why The F@#% Do I Even Play? I purchase a Mega Millions ticket now and again but when the jackpot grows to vast proportions, I make sure I purchase a ticket. Why? Because I want that money! Here's the thing: the chances at hitting the jackpot are slim to none. If you want the depressing facts, as of 2013 your chances of hitting it big were 1 in 175 MILLION. So when you do hit the jackpot, just know you have a buck for every other person that played and lost to your lucky arse. So why do I keep playing the lottery? No, I'm not some gambling addicted fool. I play because I can't win if I don't. Wait... I do sound like a gambling addicted fool. Well the truth is that while the odds are not in my favor and I am getting my financial Hunger Games on whenever I purchase a ticket, I'm aware that there is zero of chance of winning if I don't play at all. The lottery gives someone a dream they can actually pursue with one or two bucks. How aggressive ...

I remember when I was a kid, I had the most outlandish theories on how babies were made. I thought that if two people were sitting at a table naked and drinking champagne with poop in it, they were making babies. Please. Do Not Ask. I actually see the psychology behind my thinking but its all too shameful to share. I can't do it. As time went on I eventually learned how babies came about and learned that some people like to practice having babies, with zero intention of making them at all. That's when the name calling came about. Kids in school would refer to male genitals with the most lewd words. My eyes would widen and then narrow in disgust. Who came up with these names? They are terrible. I recall my eldest daughter taking a bath. I was washing her up and she said "Mommy, Cameron has a tail." I kept washing. I had an idea of where this was going and I wanted to know why in the hell she was privy to this in daycare. I said "really?" She said "Yes...

I'm not always nice. In fact, I'm only nice when I'm not being mean. So when I find tees that express how I'm typically feeling, I have to have them. So here are a few that I found that you may enjoy: This is what I call the Alibi Tee.   I often find myself places that I don't care to be and it's my way of having someone crack a smile while still making a point that I would rather be doing other things... naughty things! (Insert evil villain laugh here). I love how simple the text appears because it doesn't distract from the message. It's totally in your face. You can get this shirt in other colors but I prefer the black and white. Again, it just makes it far easier to get the message across. This one really made me crack a grin. Are you a sarcastic and cocky jerk? This is for you: The Godfidence tee. This one is just one word and I am a sucker for short and sweet. I like to make a point without much work to get there. I chose the grey just to ...

I met Anthony about two decades ago, and I'm being stingy with the time so not to reveal how ancient I truly am. We were high school kids in New York and life was fast paced. I never realized how unique he was because New York is full of diversity and well...eclectic people. Years later, I came to appreciate him in all his geekiness and realized that we had a common thread in all things geek and freak. So he is my geek of the week. Anthony has spearheaded a group called Gamers Geeks and Comic Book Freaks , or GGCF if you're nasty... or geeky. This group allows all sorts of gamers, comic book lovers and self proclaimed geeks to share intellectual discussion, gaming advice, comic book news and more. It's the place on Facebook where all the geeks go and believe me, there is an army of them. Joining the group is pretty easy...just ask. Anthony has created many different forums within the group itself so he can direct you to the page that works best for you. In addition to ...

Sure, my family is from Trinidad... but they all found their way to New York and so now that I live outside of New York I have found myself with a dilemma when it's time to travel "home" for the holidays. I have little cousins that I want to bring gifts to but driving to New York has become a bit costly over the years so I prefer to take a bus. Taking the bus is awesome on my wallet but hard on my shoulders because I have to pack all gifts on my back instead of in the trunk of my car that I don't want to drive home. So how do I solve this dilemma? I shop small. I have too large of a family to purchase the type of items that I would like to so I opt for less expensive items instead that are still cool. Here are a few that I like for this year: Personalize a Disney story with this cool book .  You can choose the child's gender and name and the story will print with the applicable information. Best part? It's not going to break the bank. You can even personal...

I'm not going to give any drawn out introduction to the subject I want to address. There comes a time when dating just becomes desperate. You can't casually disclose that you are "just seeing what's out there" when you are doing any of the following things: Membership Whoredom : Yeah, I said it. If you are or have been a member of every dating site out there to the point that you know the secrets to getting specials, recognize profiles from the "other" dating sites, and copy and paste your profiles and message replies, you are a membership whore (or a site slut if you prefer alliteration). If you don't know it, allow me to tell you: YOU HAVE REACHED THE POINT OF ADDICTION. You're on just about every site both mainstream and obscure. Your phone chimes with more notifications than drug dealer on a city block and your profile has been seen by thousands. If this is you, you have gone too far. You are not merely testing the waters, you are under th...

There is something about horror films that demand an element of sex appeal along with the gore. This is why I feel like there is a serial killing necrophiliac way down deep in all of us. We are watching this stuff, right? I take that back. Necrophilia disgusts me but I could come up with a hit list. There is way too much incriminating details within the first four sentences of this post. Time to move on to the subject at hand: Sex sells, and it always finds it's way into horror film. No one wants to see an ugly protagonist live. We likely secretly root for the death of the unattractive. Don't get all self-righteous. I just type what you think. So here are some of my favorite sexy horror film characters. Hope you enjoyed them too: Devils Rejects: Baby Firefly. There was an undeniable sex appeal that existed within this cold-hearted killer. It was easy to be seduced and then sliced, or shot into pieces by this beauty. I really can't remember how she killed her victims but...

After many well wishes follow an auto collision, the recovery of Tracy Morgan was an much anticipated treat to fans of the comedian/actor. Seeing Morgan revisit his home on Saturday night life after having been on the show for about nine years and taking a 11 year hiatus as his career continued to flourish made hearts warm and faces grin. The only thing that added to the elation of fans was the performance of Demi Lovato. My daughter grew up watching Demi perform on Barney, a family show that featured a giant purple dinosaur that came alive with the help of imaginative children. Selena Gomez also got her start on the show. After Barney, Demi made strides with Disney starring in made for TV films like Camp Rock and Princess Protection Program (alongside Selena Gomez). After a bout in rehab for a variety of issues ranging from cocaine and alcohol use to depression, Lovato faded from the spotlight after establishing a solid role in the homes of many families on her show Sonny With A C...

Why do we call it a sex tape? In this digital era nothing is on "tape". Ah, but I digress. Lil Wayne is showing his stuff in an alleged (this is my attempt at legalese) sex tape. Word on the street is that the accomplished rap star has solicited the muscle of his legal team to dole out cease and desist orders for sites that are putting the rappers romps on visual display via world wide web. What does that mean? Members of my Kinky Crew will not be able see even a snippet of the evidence. Honestly, I have no interest in viewing the sexcapades of Lil Wayne, but I'm sure there are those of you who are at least curious to see what all the commotion is about. It's no secret that Lil Wayne has no issues laying broads down. He has quite a few kids (that he knows of and claims) and has landed some pretty beautiful women throughout the years. However, despite his public love affairs, the rap star seems to be be a fairly private person who only expresses his sexual prowess by...

Gimme' a beat! Janet said it. Why can't I?  A few posts ago, I shared a site that allowed you to purchase downloadable software that allows you to make fresh beats in the comfort of your own home. That's right, a studio on your computer.  But what if you don't want to learn how to make your own beats? What if you just like having fun making beats but have no intention of becoming a musician? That's where Incredibox comes in.  What is Incredibox? Awesomeness. You just go to the site and click on the avatars and create a beat. Here's where it gets fun: if you make a good beat, or err... the "right" one, you unlock a cool video clip of the beat you made. I know, sounds weird but it will make total sense once you get started on it. I have to admit that my thirteen year old daughter (the comic fan) introduced this to me when I was considering blogging about something else (sorry other topic, I'm done with you).  So you can create fun beats, pla...

Twitter: Serving a Purpose or Popularity Contest? When I began to aggressively pursue digital marketing strategies, I decided to enter the world of Twitter . Marketing (especially digital marketing) is quite similar to IT in the way that it's ever-changing. You are only as good as the latest strategy. If you were a marketing guru on Myspace but haven't a clue about Facebook then dude.. you're behind the times. Myspace marketing is quite niche whereas Facebook is more mainstream. Linkedin has also come leaps and bounds when it comes to the implementation of market-friendly strategies. Then, there's twitter: Twitter is a social media platform that allows you to type short messages in 140 or so characters or less. Since we now live in Generation teXt, instant gratification is a prerequisite for interaction in just about any form. So getting to the bottom of a message in 140 characters is appealing to many. Twitter also allows photos and clickable links and/or "card...

Being a geek doesn't mean you can't be a gamer. I have a friend who is a GeekGamer and will readily inform anyone that being a GeekGamer is the best combination.  So in honor of my pal Anthony, I decided to "pen" a blog post with cool gamer apparel. I admit that I am not big on games, but I can appreciate a cool tee so I chose what I really liked rather than what games are really popular. So let's begin shall we? The  DOTA2 Axman Tee   was a cool find. It's kind of difficult to see the artwork but that's what I dig about it. Sometimes I like a tee that looks a bit vintage. Plus, you always know a true fan of whatever it is that you're wearing when they can easily recognize the artwork even on a dark background like this deep heather grey shirt. I found a few other cool tees that I really liked too.   This Heroes Of The Storm Murkys Pufferfish Tacos    was definitely one of them. I like the color of the tee ( I have a thing for deep grey) and I ...

Having the name Abby has been a blessing and a curse. People tend to come for me for advice and while I take no issue with providing my insight, I become annoyed. If you come to me with the same issue that you had last week, please know that the compassion I had last week will be long gone and it's replacement will be impatience. If you don't want to change your life, stop complaining about it. Change isn't easy. I struggle for every change I make in my life, but it's worth it because I would rather progress forward than remain stagnant. The reward is worth the risk. But if you are complacent in your nonsense, please refrain from calling me to lament over your woes. I don't read the same books over and over, I don't watch the same films over and over and I don't want to hear the same problems over and over. If you are going to be miserable, at least make it interesting and do something different to make things that way. Over and out.

I found a site for my kinky geek peeps out there! This site has all kinds of electronics and accessories. Cool cases  for all sorts of cell phones, cell phone accessories of all kinds, and a section called Doomsday Preppers  which features items for the aspiring mercenary or deer hunter...not so sure. I like the site because it has a case for my android which is of the less popular brands. You can even customize your cell phone case if that's something you wish to do. Shoutout to Jas (a geek diva pal of mine who just created a snazzy cell phone case of her own). The Hello Kitty paw bottle opener was a cool find for me. Nothing like a kitty getting the party started by popping a bottle open. I can just imagine myself pulling this get up out of my kitchen cabinet draw and giving my friends a knowing smile. Things are about to get purty wild up in here....oh yeah. Oh, wait. I'm still blogging. Okay, back to the item at hand. I think its adorable and a little sassy since the ...

Star Wars Is Coming, Are You Ready? It's no secret that Star Wars VII is premiering December 18th, 2015 (US) and people are raving about it well before the premier. If your memory is as poor as mine, you may need to get up to speed on all things Star Wars before you head out to the theater this December. No worries, The Nappy Diva is here to work the kinks out of this twisted situation.  Need to get your memory up to speed? Get the digital movie collection  from Amazon. This collection has Phantom Menace, Attack of The Clones, Revenge of the Sith, A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. In addition, there are 9 hours of bonus materials to keep you revved and ready for Episode VII: The Force Awakens.  A friend of mine recently made the prediction that this film will likely be the film of the year, and I believe him. It's already trending all over Google+  and Facebook . At this point from my super google research, Jurassic World and The Avengers: A...

Emotionally volatile people seldom make it to my to do list for things I plan to deal with. I have an ex. Actually, they aren't an ex. Why? Because I was told that we were never in a relationship. But I'm still referred to as an ex. Are you confused yet? Loving someone is great, but if they are insane chances are they won't realize that you loved them anyway. That's the moment when you do the following: Take your hand and put it in front of your face. Turn it so you are looking at your palm. Now bring your thumb, pointer, ring finger and pinky inward toward your palm. Find your ex and show them your hand. There is no reason to waste your time trying to prove your love to someone who will never realize it. There is no reason to fight someone to be their friend. People are in the past for good reason most of the time. Take the loss and you may find out that you have gained something cool...like PEACE. Every year or so, my ex/not ex because we were never together...