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Here Comes The Lies, All Dressed In White : Relationship Honesty


"In my divorce, I stood up and said to my ex-wife, 'Hey, I messed up. This had nothing to do with you. I didn't understand what marriage was. I cheated. I was wrong. We couldn't fix it; it got worse. I stepped away because I didn't want it to get any worse. You're the mother of my kids - I don't want to hate you."
-Kevin Hart

When it comes to relationships, we all tell our fair share of little white lies. Some of us even graduate to Olivia Pope status and have full on scandals. We often speak about the lies that we tell to get out of situations that may harm our relationship but we seldom speak about the lies that we use to get into them. 

Online dating has allowed us to advertise our greatness with a few photos and a catchy paragraph. However, even then in the midst of our most narcissistic moments of boasting about how awesome we are lies very apparent moments of deception. The angled seflies that obscure that scar, blemish, or double chin. The cropped photo that strategically trims the gelatinous fleshy evidence of months away from the gym. The long paragraph stating that you just want to be friends when your heart is burning for a spouse. All of these things are what we believe to be forgivable fibs and when an unsuspecting victim decides to wink, click, or message us we have began to work the weaving loom of deception with the hope of (fabricating) love. 

What's worse is that those were just the smaller offenses. Apparently the definition of a little white lie varies tremendously according to whom you are asking. For some a white lie may be something as small as adding an extra $5K to your salary to impress the other person. For others, denying a criminal record after spending almost a decade in the slammer attempting to convince your mother to send you a chainsaw in a birthday cake is a white lie by omission.  

Regardless of the perceived severity of the lie(s) told, starting off a relationship dishonestly is a great way to give Bitter Betty and Bachelor Bob ("by choice", of course) reason to start a head count for the Divorce Party. The lies that come within a union can certainly lead to its dissolution however anything built on lies is destined to fail. 

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